I, Pharisee

The nights are getting longer. The wind is getting colder. The schoolwork's getting harder. Free time is getting shorter . . . . and blog posts are becoming less. It's like I have one finger stuck in every plate of food out there, and it's crazy!

Tonight, though, when I finally decided to sit down and write a new blog post instead of work on my homework, it took a while to decide one what to write. For a while I just sat here, leaning back in my chair, wrapped in a blanket, and thinking over any ideas that have been repeating themselves in my life lately. Is there something prominent in my day-to-day life that I've been struggling? If so, how am I supposed to put it into words?

I began to drift off into thinking over everything I had to do, every assignment, every task. That led me to thinking about my different classes- the upcoming tests, the dreaded units in the near future, the stress of the fast-paced teaching . . . .

Then I thought with a sickening feeling, the kids I knew who had missed a bunch of school. Even those kids who I knew weren't getting the material as quickly as would be preferred . . . so I thought about them for awhile. The more I thought about them, the more I wondered about them. A few of them, I automatically thought as people who probably didn't care about school. Right away, in my mind, I pictured some other students in my school.

Then my mind clouded with stories- mainly rumours that I've heard travelling around the school about some of those kids. Even some warnings from my parents entered my head.

I imagined what their home life was like. Where did they go after school, anyways? Suddenly, I realized that I had no clue. In fact, do I ever see them outside of school? The only way I hear about what they're up to is from gossiping lips, or principle announcements.

I thought back to all those shocking stories, most of which had never been confirmed nor denied, but simply hung over the person's head like a neon sign saying, "Did you hear what this teen did?!"

At once I was engrossed in these thoughts. How could they do such a thing? What if I was ever like that? I was horrified by the thought that some people could be so "good" in school, but have a completely different lifestyle the moment they left the school grounds. It scared me. I began to think badly of them.

I thought they had changed. I thought they were actually becoming closer to God. By the looks of things, it was all a lie. Why would I want to be with people like that? People always say it's easier for someone to pull you down than it is for you to pull that someone up. I will have nothing to do with them- they're probably a bad influence.

For a while I sat, my eyes glazed over, staring into space. My mind was awhirl with conclusions about those individuals, and my heart was set on staying away from them, and though I didn't recognize it, I was passing judgment on them.

Through random brain connections, I began to ponder over my recent Student Council Leadership Retreat to Camp Caroline. I thought of the great speaker, the lessons I learned, the amazing worship, and sweet fellowship with great friends. I thought of church this morning, and realized that the sermon was similar to what the speaker at the retreat had talked about. I thought back to just two hours ago- youth group. And with growing excitement, found a huge connection. Everything that I had been listening to, just in the past four days, had been totally centered on love! Coincidence? Nah... there are no coincidences.

Okay. So, about love. I was about to prepare for this blog post with renewed vigour, but was stopped short by a glance at my Facebook. I saw a name. It triggered my thoughts from before. I felt contempt and distrust. I was growing annoyed with reading all these things I most certainly didn't agree with. I was so disgusted with these things that were being posted, that I moved to 'block' them from my newsfeed. I've done it before, and it helped alot. Why feed my mind with junk that shouldn't even be mentioned in the first place?

Back to writing about love. Hmm... why did I suddenly feel very hypocritical? I thought I was following what the bible said:

Ephesians 5:11~

Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness

but rather, expose them.

Okay, done. In fact, why don't I just 'unfriend' that person altogether? It's not like they are really trying to be a Godly person, it's not like they are that nice to me anyways . . . . what's the point? They probably wouldn't even notice.

Plus, I hear lots of adults cautioning against following people like that. They're dangerous! Who knows what kinds of things they're doing in secret? Everyone knows they're a bad kid. Might as well stick to people who will encourage me in my faith, not influence me to turn away.

I mean, that's what Jesus would do, isn't it? Look at all the times in the bible that He left those who were evil sinners! It says right there in... chapter... uhhh... does it even say that anywhere? Well, I remember that one story- that cheat Zaccheus. Oh wait, never mind... He hung out at Zach's house for supper . . . . Well that was probably because He felt sorry for the little man. It's not like He actually wanted to be friends with such a liar. Hah! Here! Levi the tax collector. He was no doubt a lying, deceiving, stealing criminal. Surely, Jesus wouldn't have anything to do with his fruitless deeds of darkness . . . oh. Never mind, again. What is this?

Mark 2:13-17 ~

13 Once again Jesus went out beside the lake. A large crowd came to him, and he began to teach them. 14 As he walked along, he saw Levi son of Alphaeus sitting at the tax collector’s booth. “Follow me,” Jesus told him, and Levi got up and followed him.

15 While Jesus was having dinner at Levi’s house, many tax collectors and sinners were eating with him and his disciples, for there were many who followed him. 16 When the teachers of the law who were Pharisees saw him eating with the sinners and tax collectors, they asked his disciples: “Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?”

17 On hearing this, Jesus said to them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

Ooooookay, then. So, Jesus, this guy that I'm trying to be like, is a "Friend of Sinners?" What is up with that? Is there any place where He actually tells off someone who is doing wrong? There's gotta be! Oh. Here it is. Hmmm....

Matthew 23:25-28~

Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you cleanse the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of extortion and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee, first cleanse the inside of the cup and dish, that the outside of them may be clean also. Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness. Even so you also outwardly appear righteous to men, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.

Shoot. That's kinda starting to sound like me. I thought I was the one doing the right thing, having nothing to do with those 'sinful' people by never going near them. But here, it looks like Jesus wasn't pressured to sin, oh no. He wasn't pulled down, He pulled those people up. He was the doctor to those who were sick. And He helped them without having a single thing to do with their fruitless deeds of darkness. He exposed their sin by showing them how to live righteously! Boy, did I ever have it mixed up!

It seems that with so much evil in this fallen, corrupt world, "good" people are becoming fewer and farther between. Along with that, since there is so many dangerous people out there, we are being taught to stay inside, stick with our Christian buddies, and not talk to those who do such detestable things. Then, we assume that we are living a 'righteous and pure life.' We think we are living like Jesus. But do we forget how He lived? His life was perfectly righteous and pure, and He did exactly the opposite of what we're doing!

He went out of His way to hang out with those people. He spent time with them, talked with them, laughed with them, healed them. Unfortunately, that legacy isn't living on very much anymore. We jumbled up that verse. Instead of, "Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness," we changed it to, "Have nothing to do with those people who commit fruitless deeds of darkness." We can help them out of the pit their in without having anything to do with the sin itself!

The more we stay away from those people, the less and less like Jesus we become. We become pharisees. On the outside, we stay away from impurity and sin. On the inside, we judge those we deem worse than us, we feel proud, we feel contempt toward anyone not like us. The weird thing is, Jesus was furious with the Pharisees. They made no attempt to save His lost sheep, they simply paraded around proudly, thinking they were doing the Will of God. Uh-uh.

Our society has it backwards. We weren't meant to ignore the lost- we are commanded to love them! Why have we lost sight of that? What happened to giving a cup of cold water in the Lord's name? Where in the Bible did He tell us to stay in our homes, go to church, stay away from those who are hurting, ignore those who are dying, and block those who need Him?

Didn't we all need Him? And aren't we the ones who profess that no sin is greater than another? So what are we, sinners, doing condemning our fellow sinners? The only difference between them and us, is we have Jesus!

There's supposed to be another difference . . . we should be following Jesus. From the looks of things right now, staying safe and oblivious is keeping us occupied rather than being a loving servant like Jesus told us to be.

If people will know we are Christians by our love... then the Christian population in North America must be labeled an 'endangered religion' by this point.

Time to bring the real Jesus back.

Same Song . . . .

It isn't fair that the people of the Old Testament got to witness God's Almighty Power firsthand. It was all so simple and straightforward for them. Why couldn't I have been born with the Israelites in Egypt? My faith would've been so literal. It would have been so easy to believe in God when He is speaking to you audibly from a massive pillar of cloud right before your eyes, right? Wrong.

Those people in the time of Christ should've had it easy enough. I mean, He was what they had been waiting for, and He was fulfilling the prophesies that those folks had spent time memorizing for when the time came. Why couldn't I have been born when Jesus walked the earth? Seeing Him with my very own eyes, God in the flesh, how could I ever have any doubts at all? Those people's faith must have been so clear cut. Black and white. Obvious, right? Wrong.

Look anywhere in history. Faith has never been crystal clear. People have always, and will always continue to doubt. It doesn't matter how much or how little evidence is put before our eyes, we are human and we are fickle. We believe for a moment, and turn away the second something different catches our eye.

We imagine that the Israelites had the easy job. Other than remembring all those sacrifices and procedures, I guess. But, I tend to think, wouldn't all those rituals and celebrations keep fresh in your mind the truth that God is real? Wouldn't the constant ceremonies and traditions remind you of the times where you say God with your own eyes? It seems insane that anyone would forget seeing the Sea split open right in front of you, creating a dry path on the Seafloor, doesn't it? Miraculous signs. Amazing wonders. No way would those people ever have a doubt that God was there, and that God was strong. 

It's sad to say that that wasn't the case. Remember the gold calf? That's just one well-known example of the many times that the Israelites forgot God. For some reason, they thought that wimpy golden statues would serve them better than Elohim. They would turn away, but then be brought back. They would repent and promise to never do it again... but that never lasted very long. No matter how much proof God gave them of His Sovereignty, it always seemed to slip their minds. They didn't get it.

I envy those who lived in the time of Jesus. They actually got to meet the man who would save them from their sins! Since the very beginning of the world, people had been awaiting the Messiah. Those people got to touch Him. Listen to Him. Be healed by Him. Follow Him. He taught them the way of God, simply and literally. He loved them to bits, and He was the perfect example. He performed so many miracles for them, you would think that the memory of 5 loaves and 2 fish turning into thousands of each would stick with you, eh?

I guess not. Even they, who walked alongside their Saviour, were the very ones with their fists raised to cry, "Crucify Him!" It shocks me. It angers me. How could they honestly want to kill Him, after He had shown them the light, and the Truth? The answer seems so obvious to us, now. But to them, they did what they thought was right. Their all-too-human minds failed them, yet again. Their sinful ways kicked them for believing Christ. Their weak armour left them vulnerable to Satan's attacks. They forgot, again.

Now, here we are. Two thousand years later, all that hullabaloo seems like ancient history. Oh yeah, that's because it is. It's bordering on myth. Legend. Fable. Fantasy. Sometimes, it feels that way even to us. In some ways, we have more proof than ever that these events have happened, are true, and that what is said in the Bible is right!

We have researchers and archaeologists discovering more and more hard-core evidence for Intelligent Design. We still see God's hand at work in so many lives, in the way people's hearts change. Our common sense cannot deny: How can we honestly say that an explosion created a standard, universal set of morals? It makes no sense! Simply survival of the fittest, even if it applies to the animal kingdom, doesn't work on humans. We have feelings, emotions, moral standards, thoughts, and desires. That doesn't come from random chance and atoms. That comes from being made in the likeness of a wise and loving Creator. We also have something that the people of history did not. A complete set of books. A volume of truth. It's a series written by many different authors, all living at different times, but everything they write lines up with each other. We know it's not false. 

If just one author had testified to Christ's works, we would think it slightly 'iffy.' If, however, we had four or five different witnesses write separate accounts on Christ's works, it is becoming believable, and solid evidence. Add the many, many prophesies in the Old Testament, written 400 years earlier, that line up perfectly with what the more modern witnesses claimed, and you have one infallible history textbook!

Not only does it relay to you the firsthand accounts of what really happened, but it concerns you, too... and on a personal level. No other book works that way. Nothing else has ever been so solidly grounded in hard facts and evidence, and truth.

I wonder if those people from ancient times thought ahead to the future; our generation? Maybe they thought, "When all these prophesies come true, after all this trouble is over, those people will be so blessed, for they will get to know all that has transpassed. They will read recordings of our troubles, of God's wonders, of the prophet's predictions, and of the fulfilments, and there will be no more doubt! Why couldn't I have been born in the future?"

Faith never gets 'easier.' If it was easy, it wouldn't be called faith. 

Hebrews 11:1 ~ Now faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see.

Sometimes I feel certain of Him who I cannot see.

Other times... it's a real struggle.

But this struggle is just the same as what all those Old and New Testament believers went through. It doesn't matter whether they were following God's visible form, waiting for the prophet's predictions to come true, or listening to the Son of God. Faith never got easy. If anything, it got harder.

Because where it seems the most obvious, that's where Satan claps his hands over our ears, trying to direct our attention away from the Living Proof that the Bible is true.

Ground yourself in Truth.

Stand Firm!

ONE WAY

I've begun to realize how laid back most of us are about Christianity and evangelism. How many times have I heard someone say "You shouldn't force your beliefs down someone else's throat." It's a common phrase and, up til now, I believed it.

Okay. So I haven't completely decided that the time has come to shove God's message down people's throats... but in a sense, we should be doing just that.

Think of school. Science. Social. Math. When the teacher tells you, "2 + 2 = 4," he's telling you. He's not sharing his personal opinion. He's stating a fact. I've never heard another student contradict the instructor with his/her own thoughts such as, "Well, actually, I've come to the conclusion that sometimes, 2+2 can equal 5. I don't agree with what you said." Yeah, we know better. Math is logical. It's constant. It's obvious that 2+2 cannot equal 5.

When the teacher corrects the student, he'll try to convince them that they are wrong. They may simply state, "No, 2+2=4 and that's final." Or, they may give examples and come up with solid proof. Never will you hear a legitimate math teacher say, "Well, that's what you believe and I'll respect that point of view." Nu-uh, no way. They would be fired if they let each student believe what he or she wanted to. It's not the way mathematics works.

Nor is it the way religion works. You've heard the saying, "All roads lead to Rome." For starters, that saying is a lie. All roads do not lead to Rome, because they actually lead somewhere else. It's the same with religion, with one variable. All roads lead to hell, except for one. The narrow path.

That may have sounded harsh, but it's the truth. Let's look back to that math teacher. If he is doing his job correctly, he will tell the student why he/she is wrong, and will mark that question wrong on their test if they continue to put '5' as the sum of 2+2. Wouldn't you say that's a little pushy? Why should he have the right to force what he believes down that student's throat? They should have the right to choose what they believe, and be respected, not criticized.

Do you see how foolish that is? I'm beginning to realize how much I've been thinking of religion in that way. I know that Jesus is the only way to God, but I've been allowing for others to speak of their beliefs as if it's true. I have fallen to agreeing with the lie that says, "Let people believe whatever they want to. Don't judge." Okay... but that isn't what we're here on earth for.

Jesus knew the Truth. He was the Truth. He didn't go around teaching for nothing! He rebuked those who were incorrect! He corrected those who had the wrong idea. He taught the TRUTH. He didn't say, "This is what I know, but you don't have to believe it. No pressure. Do what you want and we'll leave you alone, it's your life." What would be the point of His mission to earth if that's what He did? No.

We, as Christians, are starting to treat religion as an English assignment. (Yes, this came to mind today due to the vast amount of English homework I have....) In Language Arts, you can earn full marks for your answers as long as you defend them with why you said what you said. Did you like the book? Why, or why not? As long as you have good reason, any answer is correct. An English teacher cannot force you to love a certain book just because they love it.

I have been stuck in the mindset that religion is just like that when, in reality, it's math class. It doesn't matter if you believe that you will come back as a cow in the next life. It doesn't matter if you believe that your good works will get you to heaven. It doesn't matter if you believe that your ancestors will answer your prayers. It doesn't matter if you believe that rubbing Buddha's belly will give you good luck. It doesn't matter if you think that 2+2=5. It doesn't matter, because it's wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

I can imagine the initial reaction to that statement I just made. *Gasp!* "Who does she think she is? She can't force her beliefs down other people's throats!" No. I can't. Neither can I sit back and allow you to think that without trying to show the world the truth.

Do you see? We are Christ's ambassadors. His representatives. His children. We aren't simply His fan club that sticks together and stays away from anyone who doesn't like Him. Where did He go? Into the houses of the nonbelievers. What did He tell them? The truth. And it made them uncomfortable. Imagine that. Why did He do what He did? Because it was the only way to save them from eternal suffering.

We need to start realizing how important this mission of ours is. We can't be silent about what we know is true. Look at people worshipping other gods in other parts of the world. They don't even know the truth, but they're still following what they believe more than we are! There are stories of Islamic or Muslim people who kill their own family members because they turn away from what their family said was true. These are people who take what they believe in seriously. Very seriously. And the sad thing is, it's all for naught!

We are the ones who actually have the Truth and, yet, we are the ones sitting on our behinds, watching the world fall to the Father of Lies. We are the ones who are supposed to be sharing the key to eternal life, but we are the ones waiting around, too shy to speak up about it. We are the ones who have the One True King living inside of us, but we are the ones who've decided that it's okay for others to believe whatever they want to, even if it's not true. It's not okay!

Yeah, people won't appreciate us standing up for our faith and telling the world that they're wrong and we're right. They'll hate us for it. But they hated Jesus, too. People will think we are being rude and imposing. But what's the reward? The ones that listen. The ones that accept Christ. If I can at least share salvation with one single soul, then listening to the rest of the world's hatred will definitely be worth it.

Matthew 10:22 ~

You will be hated by everyone because of me,

but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.

John 15:18-19 ~

If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first.
If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is,

you do NOT belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world!

That is why the world hates you.

What do you value more? Being God's chosen messenger, or being loved by the world? You can only do one at a time. If the world loves you and appreciates you, you're probably not doing the most important job you'll ever have. You're not imitating Christ. Jesus did what was right and perfect every moment of His life, and it got him killed. That's called radical living. 

The truth will make people uncomfortable. Deal with it. It's better than burning in hell for eternity. We are not of this world, so stop pretending to be! Stand up! Make a change! Be  the change! Follow Christ. Don't make Christ only visible to the believers. Make others notice Him too! Through words, through example, through actions. 

Through love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There's no law against it! That's how Jesus spread the message. And even though those are all perfect things, the world still hated Him for it. So if it hates you for those reasons, take heart. You're storing up your treasure in heaven, and following Christ's example even when it hurts. 

2+2=4. There's no way around it. It's time we start finding the lost and teaching them the only true answer. It's a ONE WAY sign.

Live it LOUD!

With Me in the Storm

Sovereign - Chris Tomlin

That song. Every time I listen to it, the more it touches me. It is such a huge comfort.

It's been a long while since I last hunkered down and wrote, mainly because, it's the beginning of the new school year. High School. I feel tired and grouchy and busy... and about 90% of my extra-curricular activities don't even start up until next week.

I have this dilemma every year, it's nothing new. I have to say 'no,' even when my heart longs to say 'yes.' I have to exclude myself from those get together's and events that I had been looking forward to, simply because my plate is already overflowing. It's a problem with me. I love being... busy. At least, I think I do.

Throughout the year, when I'm gone from home from 8:00am until 9:00pm running around town like a headless chicken, I come home and whimper over my overbooked schedule. I complain, "I'm sooooo tired!" "I'm soooooo busy!" "I have no time to do my homework!" "I have no time to do anything!"

Come mid-July, it's a whole different emotion. "I can't wait for school...." "I can't wait for dance...." "I am so bored!"

I guess I'm just never satisfied with the present busyness level. I get stressed over simple things, and lay awake at night worrying over something I signed up for, something I said to someone else, something coming up... I worry over everything. I pray and pray to God that things will go smoothly. I plead that He will work things out so that I won't be disappointed. I just want things to go my way, basically.

That song. Every time I listen to it, I love it more. It is a huge comfort to me. Sovereign. It's something that I fail to grasp, over and over. I am not sovereign. My way is not the way. Alone, my way is the way of destruction, even though I don't realize it.

I am not sovereign, but Someone is. That Someone already knows the way things are going to turn out. He is Sovereign. I cannot sway Him in one direction or another, for He is perfectly steadfast. Steadfast. That's another thing I am not.

Things this year are going to get crazy. I can sense it. I'm feeling pumped, I'm feeling apprehensive. I'm feeling wary, but almost ready. I'm anticipating many tears and many failures. So many new things are hurtling towards me, and I feel like I have no time to prepare for them. It's like a barrage of new experiences, some fun, some scary, are storming towards me.

But... He is with me in the storm.

And... He was with me in the calm, too.

I'm going to change this year. It's starting already. I'm going to have to step up my responsibility, and work harder than ever from here on in. Things will probably never be the same as they used to be. Less time to relax, less time to play. Hardly will there be a day when I have absolutely no care in the world, but maybe that's a good thing. Even though I'm growing and changing, He is still the same. He was with me all this time, and He will never leave me, nor forsake me.

Even if I mess up at teaching, He is still sovereign. If I flunk a test, He is still God. If I am diagnosed with cancer and am bedridden for the rest of my life... He is still with me. He is still Him, and that will never change.

I am a tiny part to this picture, and my idea of controlling my own life is as flimsy as saran wrap. My aspirations to an organized, calm, collected lifestyle will hopefully turn to mush. My goals to run my own life solo... yeah, right. Those were just hallucinations. God is sovereign, I am not.

Psalm 103:15-19~

As for man, his days are like grass; As a flower of the field, so he flourishes. When the wind has passed over it, it is no more; And its place acknowledges it no longer. But the loving kindness of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, And His righteousness to children’s children, To those who keep His covenant, And who remember His precepts to do them. The LORD has established His throne in the heavens; And His sovereignty rules over all.

My days are like grass. I will soon whither. All my accomplishments, everything I am working so hard for, it will be completely forgotten. And when the end is come, no earthly thing that we deemed worthy, will be worth anything at all. Nothing mattered. This whole time, God was sovereign. We work so hard for money. We strive so hard for popularity. We move mountains for relationships. We fight tooth and nail for status. We... what do we do for God, anyways? Funny. The one thing that actually matters, is the thing we forget about the most.

In the end, all these things I'm biting my nails over now, I will never remember them again. Every mistake I make this year, they'll be long gone. But every right choice. Every time I answer His call. Every time I give a cup of water to someone in His name. Those will be counted. They will be remembered. 

When I win, God is sovereign. When I lose, God is sovereign. When I cry, God is sovereign. When I laugh, God is sovereign. When I die, God is sovereign. His absolute power is the most important thing ever, and it doesn't depend on my success. That takes a load off my shoulders!

Yes, I will stumble, big time. But it's not the end of the world. In fact, even if a million people witness it, even if they shun me for years and I am a public disgrace, God is STILL SOVEREIGN. Do you notice a pattern? His sovereignty doesn't change. It doesn't depend on me. It doesn't depend on you. 

Actually, we depend on Him. (At least, we need to.)

The important things in life will be remembered, so strive for those things! Depend on the only steadfast One for your needs, not your own accomplishments! 

I know that my position is secure in Christ, no matter how stressful and tiring this coming year will be. I know that the most important decision of my life, my second birth, has made me right with God. Nothing else matters so much. I want to work to honor Him because of His gift to me, but I want to rest in Him. There's no need to get worked up over these human-made expectations.

I will still work at all these assignments and projects and upcoming trials, but they will not define me. He is sovereign, no matter how I do. What a blessing to be able to rest in His everlasting love. He will always be God. He will always be Lord. No matter what mankind does, He will not budge! It's such an awesome realization, one that I am still too baffled by to comprehend fully. 

Lord, whatever comes my way, I will trust you.

I am safe.

I am loved.

And He is Sovereign.