Williams, Duggar, and You

You have a sphere of influence.

It might hold ten people. It might hold a thousand. You'll never totally know.

But you can be sure of this: As surely as you look up to certain people, there are others looking up to you. It doesn't matter what you think of yourself. There is somebody who aspires to be like you, in some aspect.

I know because there are people I hold as role models, who think nothing of themselves. They think they are insignificant and meaningless, unimportant and background characters. They probably don't realize that I look up to them in many ways, as I'm sure others do, as well.

There are people watching you. Every decision you make, they're watching. Every choice you make, they're watching your results. And most of the time, these people don't even realize they are holding you up on a pedestal in their lives. I know I don't often realize it. I look up to people and subconsciously aspire to become more like them.

Then they mess up. Big time.

And then people who didn't know they looked up to that person... they suddenly feel lost. I know I do. I suddenly am confused. Where do I stand? If they could botch things up like that... what about me? Things get rough. It's easy to get scared. Depressed. Anxious. Unsure. Lazy. Defeated. Because of someone else.

Robin Williams was put on a pedestal by many people. He motivated people. He inspired people. He was a spokesperson against depression, hoping to lift people's spirits. He was known for his cheerfulness and strong willpower.

Then he hung himself.

The Duggar family, famous because of the TV Series, 19 Kids and Counting, were highly respected and looked up to by many families around the world. Their integrity and focus on obedience was admired by thousands.

Then the sexually immoral actions of Josh Duggar were dug up from years of hiding. His numerous charges of sexual abuse were brought to light, and many families' hopes in the Duggar family were shattered. If a family deemed so proper and so perfect could be concealing such a dark secret, is there any good and pure family to look up to?

Even if we say we have put our faith completely in God, I'd venture to say that every person has somebody, either past or present, that they hold in a different light. A hero. A role model. You have one, and you are one.

The people who want to be like you could be anywhere. You don't always know who they are. It's a reality that we all must grab hold of, especially as followers in Christ. The world is watching us, and examining the coherence of our actions with our words. What we profess causes people to see us a little bit differently, and that should make us uncomfortable.

We have the power, through our good and bad decisions, to make or break some anonymous person's heart. Only Jesus has the power to save a soul, but we have the responsibility to make Jesus attractive to the unsaved, through the way we live.

Matthew 5:16~

In the same way, let your light shine before others,

so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father,

who is in heaven.

So basically, don't mess up.

But when you do, admit it. God has forgiven you to infinity and beyond, but that does not mean that people have. When we break trust, we are cut off from that person. What we can do to repair the damage is be vulnerable. Be humble. Be honest. It's horribly embarrassing, it's horribly demeaning, but it's incredibly important. For people who watch us to see if our way of life is worth trying... if they see us screw up and brush it off, it does nothing for either them or us. It could turn them away from the Gospel, and it can harden our hearts. People are watching us, scrutinizing and inspecting, whether they know it or not. But we are only human, and we are bound to miss the mark, for sure. But vulnerability and humility are the keys that can save our relationships with those in our sphere of influence. To ask for forgiveness is to possibly get a second chance at presenting Jesus Christ accurately.

We need to be constantly aware. The words that slip out that you think nobody heard... you don't know that. The glances you give the people you dislike... others can see those. The respect you give your authorities... others are surely paying attention. The risks you take, the pressures you withstand, these are the things that are entering the minds of believers and non-believers, alike. People are taking all this information, and will make a decision whether or not they wish to apply it to their lives.

We're missionaries. Every second of every day. To a crowd of anonymous people, you are painting a picture in their mind of who Jesus is and what He is like. Let's live a life worthy of holding that paintbrush. Because we are holding it. Whether we want to, or not.

Ephesians 5:1-2~

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.

And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant

offering and sacrifice to God.

20/20 Vision

Who's your closest friend? Who's the person who hears about every aspect of your life, as soon as you hear about it? Who knows you the best?

My best friend has been listening to my rants for the past 6 years. I tell her everything. Things that make me happy, I tell her first. Things that make me sad, I tell her first. Things that make me wanna punch something until my knuckles bleed, she is the first to know. If anybody knows me, it's her. She knows how flawed I am, and listens to my struggles and pains. I complain about everything to her, I laugh about everything with her, and I listen to her thoughts as well. 

Well, this year we're in grade 12. I'm in dorms, a province away from the rest of my family. My schedule is busier than it's ever been before, and the pressure of school is intense, as you may imagine. Not too long ago, I was lying in bed and contemplating how hectic life had become. I was thinking to myself how massive the switch was. I was thinking about how hard it was going to be. I was looking ahead at this year in anticipation... but also in fear. With trips to BC, Colombia, Ireland, Scotland, and England, working 5-6 days a week, and with diplomas coming up, I suddenly felt hugely overwhelmed. 

So as I lay there at 1:00 in the morning, I began to imagine myself talking to my best friend. I didn't want to wake her up, so I just talked to her in my head. I could imagine what she would say, how she would empathize, and how she would understand the stress of my life at least a little bit. 

As I thought through the things I wanted to tell her, I grew angrier and angrier. I got more and more worried. I remembered more and more stresses in my life that I hadn't thought about before. I felt so anxious as I continued to tell her all my problems and all the hardships in my life. 

I opened my eyes. The clock read 2:30 am. I was sweating. I sat up, rubbing my pounding forehead. I needed sleep. I needed to rest. I needed to calm down. With a billion and one things racing through my mind and troubling my thoughts, I needed to figure out how to clear my head.

Then it hit me. Why wasn't I talking to God?

I had spent so long tossing and turning, sweating and sighing, talking in my head to my imaginary best friend... without whispering a single word to my Heavenly Father.

So, tired and frustrated and worried as I was, I lay down again, and began to talk with God. I started unraveling the blanket of anxiety that I had woven for myself in recent weeks. I talked and talked, and laid all my sky-high problems before His feet. 

.... And by the time I had finished ranting, I took a look at all my sky-high problems... and they were gone. I looked around, but they were no longer towering over me. So I looked down. And sure enough, there they were. Demolished. Ankle-high piles of dust. They had gone from giant and frightening, to sand that blew away in the wind.

I tried to think through them again. I thought through all my struggles, all my concerns, all my angers, all my problems, and tried for a moment to build them back into the monster they had become... but my Father didn't let me. 

He totally rewired my brain.

When I brought my troubles to life in my mind, and thought through them from my own human perspective, they were crazy. Huge. Intimidating. Powerful. Crushing. Overwhelming. But when I started telling God my problems... they began to shrink. I began to see them as they really were: small. 

My giant problems were exposed as insignificant in the light of His holiness and grace.

It was like all of my greatest anxieties suddenly were lost in the shadow of the cross. God reminded me of who He was. He reminded me of what He did. He reminded me of the hostility that His Son endured for my sake. He reminded me of every blessing that I never deserved. He reminded me of all He had done, and all He had yet to do. He reminded me of the frailty of my life, and the fullness of His.

He crushed the distorted lens that the world had given me to look through, and replaced them with a crystal-clear lens crafted in Heaven. He gave me a dose of reality. And I started to understand.

There isn't a person on earth who is problem-free. We are all sick and broken. But even the wealthiest, most prosperous person could view his problems as more overpowering than the poorest, loneliest person. In the Kingdom of God, the number of our problems is inconsequential. The size of our problems is of no matter. Because no matter what we are going through, when we go through it with Him, we cannot lose.

Looking at our life through God's flawless lens requires discipline and focus. It's hard, and it's tempting to give in to our weaknesses. But living life from God's perspective is immeasurably more rewarding.

Hebrews 12:10~

For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God's discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening- it's painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.

I don't believe God wants to dismiss our struggles and ignore our cries. Not at all. But I do believe that He wants to take us deeper into His mercy, and deeper into His heart. He does not want our troubles to tower over us, He wants us to tower over them. He wants to reverse our thoughts and teach us to praise Him in the storm, and in the calm. 

If we keep our eyes on the cross, remembering what our God did for us there, I believe that every single one of our problems will shift before our very eyes. We will see them not as hindrances, but instead as opportunities to reflect our Saviour. We will see them as an honour to endure, out of gratitude to the One who endured the utmost of suffering for us. 

We deserve every calamity and every hardship, but Jesus intercedes on our behalf out of His infinite mercy and love. So when times do get tough, let's look at them as opportunities to grow. Let's look for every chance to follow Jesus, even unto death. He is perfecting us. We are refined through the fire. It's not easy, but it is 100% worth it.

Hebrews 11:35-40~

But other [people of faith] were tortured, refusing to turn from God in order to be set free. They placed their hope in a better life after the resurrection. Some were jeered at, and their backs were cut open with whips. Others were chained in prisons. Some died by stoning, some were sawed in half, and others were killed with the sword. Some went about wearing skins of sheep and goats, destitute and oppressed and mistreated. They were too good for this world, wandering over deserts and mountains, hiding in caves and holes in the ground.

How comforting. It's not the rich and comfortable ones, but the tortured and martyred people that are too good for this world. There is no reason to complain when we examine our problems from Jesus' perspective. He gives us 20/20 vision as we , and there is no room left for whining. But there is always a reason to thank God. Every moment is the perfect moment to praise His Name.

Christ set the example to follow. He showed us what humility and endurance look like. We call ourselves Christians... let's validate that title.

Karistianity

You have a brain tumour.

You plan on having it surgically removed.

You can choose your surgeon.

Candidate #1 is the brain surgeon, a man with the highest level of education, a list of 1000 successful surgeries that he has performed, and a record of zero unsuccessful ones.

Candidate #2 is the janitor, who has never attempted surgery, is not trained, and has never performed any medical operation successfully.

Defying all logic, reason, and wisdom, you choose the janitor. I choose the janitor. We all choose the janitor, and we continue to choose the janitor, despite the number of times they fail. Why?

Because we are the janitor.

You and I, we have a long list of failures. We have a long list of flaws. We have a small amount of wisdom and a large portion of foolishness. We have limited knowledge, and cannot see past our own situations. We're impatient, brash, impulsive, reckless, ignorant, lazy, and fatally flawed.

And yet we see ourselves as more qualified than God, himself.

We grab hold of our problems, and don't allow God to come near them. We say, "Stay back, God. I'll handle this one." And time and time again, we fail to 'handle' it.

Why are we so distrustful of the One who has never failed? Why do we feel the need to put our own, incapable selves, in charge of our struggles?

The eleventh chapter of Hebrews is often referred to as the "Hall of Faith." It lists characters from the Old Testament who surrendered their problems to God, and trusted that He knew what He was doing. These examples demonstrate the Truth: Problems handled by people = bigger problems. Problems handled by God = Solved.

I think the reason we so often try to take control of our problems is because we fear the unknown. We want to know what's going on. We dislike the idea of blind faith, so we follow our own volition and ideas. We ignore our commitment to Christ, in favour of a new commitment to ourselves. Spoiler Alert: It doesn't work.

Sometimes, when we give our troubles over to God, things get weird. Things take crazy turns, and we feel like control has been lost altogether. We get worried, because we think things are not going to plan.

But we're wrong.

Things aren't going according to our plan. And that is a step in a very good direction. If things go according to the plans of fallen, sinful, naive human beings, it's not a good sign.

But just look at the times in the Bible when God was given control of the situation, and things looked insane. Walk around a wall for 7 days? What even?! Sacrifice my only son on an altar? Alrighty then.... Build a boat on dry ground, when it's never even rained before? Go back to Egypt where I am wanted dead? Lord, you're loco. How about watching Jesus hang from a cross and die, the One whom God promised to be the Saviour?!

Yeah, things didn't go along with the plans of those humans. Good thing. We are narrow-minded, shallow people. It's why when we see God working in His mysterious ways, we cannot comprehend how He will ever bring it about to completion.

But then He does. He brings it all together in the most miraculous way. He is all powerful, and all good. So when He is given all the control, be prepared for some good and powerful results. The walls collapsed. Isaac was saved, and Abraham was blessed. The Israelites went free. Jesus rose from the dead.

If you are struggling, if you are afraid, and if you're trying to control your situation, I dare you to read all of Hebrews 11. Every time I read it I can almost hear God telling me, "See? Look how I proved my love in that situation? Looked what I did for them! Look how I showed my grace. Look how I showed my power. You sure you still want to handle this on your own?!" You're in for a convicting amount of evidence supporting God's capability to handle your problem. He is 100% worthy of your trust. To summarize the chapter:

Hebrews 11:32-35 ~

How much more do I need to say?

It would take too long to recount the stories of the faith of 

Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel, and all the prophets.

By faith these people overthrew kingdoms, ruled with justice, and received 

what God had promised them. They shut the mouths of lions, quenched the flames 

of fire, and escaped death by the edge of the sword. Their weakness was turned into 

strength. They became strong in battle and put whole armies to flight.

Women received their loved ones back from death.

Keep in mind that when you give God the reins, He will bring about His perfect results, which may not be the results that you wanted. But also keep in mind that He knows better, sees all, understands all, knows the future, and cannot make a mistake. We must learn to be content with the fulfillment of His Will, not our own.

Psalm 9:10 ~

Those who know your name will trust in you, 

for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.

We all have problems. You have problems. I have problems. And this time, I'm going to try to stop choosing the janitor. I'm firing her. I'm abandoning my faith in myself, in favour of faith in the One who deserves all of my confidence. Christianity is meant to be a contract, one that is especially honoured when it's most difficult to honour it.

It is for this reason that I am declaring that I'm no longer a believer in Karistianity.

Christ, it's back to you. Take control.

Ready For Impact

So... I blinked. And here I am. Writing from my dorm room. I blinked, and my family moved away. I blinked, and our house was empty. I blinked, and senior year is now here. I blinked, and I'm on my own.

Days are going by too fast for me to notice. But in this whirlwind that life has turned into, my prayer have been short and constant throughout each and every day. Usually, I breathe them as I'm running around in a daze, or as I drift off to sleep. But for the past few weeks, my prayer has been the same few words, repeated over. And over. And over. It goes something like this: "God, make me an impact. Make me an impact. Make me an impact." "God, help me change someone. Help me make a difference. Make me an impact."

I've been whispering it so much. It's what I want more than anything. I've been noticing the same desire in the people around me, as well. In school, I hear people who are running for student council saying, "I want to change things." "I want to make things different."

I'm starting to get the idea that this is a common wish. In some way or another, we all want to do something big. I know I've prayed for the chance to make a difference in someone's life on many different occasions, and the hunger for change has often brought me to tears. Opportunities arise, and opportunities disappear. But we keep praying that we will be the difference maker. We keep hoping that we will change someone. We keep imagining that our home, school, workplace, town, and world will somehow be changed because of us.

We're completely full of it.

1 John 2:6 ~

Those who say they live in God

should live their lives as Jesus did.

The world is chock full of people whose hearts need to change. Every where you turn, you'll see people whose lives definitely need a rerouting. Everywhere you look, people need to start living in the light. Even when you look in the mirror.

That's right. This world is full of people who a.) want to change those around them, and b.) people who don't want to change themselves. Doing quick mental math, we see that this doesn't exactly work. If our world is full of people who focus on changing the people around them but aren't willing to examine their own lives... our world isn't going to even budge.

Ask God to mold your heart. Deal with your life before everyone else's.  Like the simple command in 1 John said, those of us who say we abide in Christ, should be living like Him. How did He live? In perfect love.

1 John 1:5-7 ~

This is the message we heard from Jesus and now declare to you:

God is light, and there is no darkness in him at all. So we are lying if we say

we have fellowship with God but go on living in spiritual darkness;

 we are no practicing the truth. But if we are living in the light,

as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each

other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, 

cleanses us from all sin.

He was and is the light of the world. It doesn't make sense for us to want to change people in the name of Christ, but live our own lives in darkness. You see, those who Christ is calling to Himself will be drawn to His light. Whether or not they have access to His light through you, well, that's your decision.

We are not the ones who change hearts. We are not the ones who change minds. We are not the ones who stir souls. We are simply the lenses that Jesus can use to shine His perfect light through. The lenses who are clean, shiny, and perfectly clear are the people who will see progress. And it's not because of what they have done, it's because of what they've allowed Christ to do in themselves.

So don't worry about impacting others. Don't focus on being the one who changes their lives. God wants to use us, but we must be clean. We must be able to clearly reflect His light. Let God impact you, first. Live like Jesus did. And keep in mind how many people He changed, just by loving. And if our heart's deepest cry is to humble ourselves and allow God to form and shape us, then I believe we'd better be bracing ourself for His impact.

My prayer is changing this night. I'm going to continue to repeat the words over and over, but with a slight variation:

"God, impact me. Impact me. Impact me."