Today's devotion really got to me. It was a letter from a guy who was on his deathbed. He wanted to make a point I think. Basically, it was things he would do if he could live life over again. A few of them included:
-make more mistakes
-be sillier
-have more REAL troubles and less IMAGINARY ones
-wouldn't make such high grades, except by accident
-climb more mountains
-go barefoot more
-relax
-pick daisies
Now, I don't totally agree with all of these- I value good grades, and I know that life isn't about relaxing all the time. There are times when we need to suck it up and work. But, I don't think that was the point of his list of "Wish-I Had,"s.
Even before I read the Scripture passage, reading that letter really compelled me and caused me to think.
I stress over my future, it's true. One of my biggest worries was that I would never make any money. But what did God do? He provided! He gave me a great regular job that isn't overwhelming at all!
I worry about getting good grades- not making it far enough in life. I kick myself for getting a 94% and compliment my friend's 80%. But really, think about it. In the long run, who is honestly going to care? Just because I miss that clear shot in gym class and embarass myself in front of everyone... no one is going to remember that in ten minutes, except for me. It doesn't have to be like that.
Back to that man's letter. "I would make more mistakes." More mistakes? Why would anyone desire that? Well, what do the teachers always tell us? "Learn from your mistakes." That about sums it up! If we're too careful, too nervous to take risks and make mistakes, then how is our character going to develop at all?
I don't know what I want to be grow up, where I want to go, what I want to do, but God does. He planned it all out before I was born. We've heard that thousands of times... but just let it sink in. God knows. If he showed us the story of our life right at this moment, it would have ever detail perfectly planned out. He already knows the mistakes we're going to make and the trails we will overcome. He KNOWS! Isn't that amazing? I have absolutely no idea who I am going to marry, for example. Well, God sees that man right now and is watching over him, preparing him for when he and I will meet. He knows him, even though I am completely oblivious.
In the end, when our timer has run out, our money won't save us from dying. Our good grades won't let us live any longer. The ONE and ONLY thing that matters at ALL is how we live our life for God! That's the only thing that anyone will remember! Not how many people liked you, not how pretty you were, not how wealthy or smart you were, just how Godly you were.
Now, that doesn't mean to not try hard in school. "Do everything to the glory of God!" God can take our talents, however meager, our gifts however small, and our passions however dull. He can take them and use them to further his marvelous kingdom here on earth! Can you believe that? We do need to work hard, but we need to direct all the attention to God, and away from our own accomplishments. We must decrease, so that he can increase.
Read Psalm 39:4-7! It really touched me, exactly what I needed to hear! Thank you, God! <3 I will leave it up to you to read it, but I greatly encourage it. The main points that stuck out for me:
"all our busy rushing ends in nothing,"
"we heap up wealth, not knowing who will spend it,"
"Where do I put my hope?!" [emphasis added]
I realized that I need to be asking myself this question more! Thank you Jesus and praise God, I'm finally starting to understand! I am beginning to truly understand what hope really means! Praise the Lord for giving me these wonderful revelations tonight!
Wow, I have had it WAY off. I hope this hits home for all of you as it did for me- let me elaborate on my Holy Spirit-directed reflections.
I have not been putting my hope in Christ. I thought I was, I said I was, but no. And it's obvious where my hope did lie! School. Knowledge. Money. Talent. Popularity, and many more irrelevant areas in my life. Does that sound even the least bit Godly to you? No. But now I know what having hope in Christ means, and I am so thankful!
I felt the Holy Spirit tonight talk to me and teach me what it means to have hope in Christ. It means that no matter what happens- cancer, poverty, persecution, rejection, failings, it doesn't compare to the richness of God's love!
My place in heaven is secure! I can be confident that I am a child of God! He loves me! That's ALL that matters! If I am LOVED by the Creator of the galaxies, then who should I fear? Of what should I be afraid? Why need I worry, for what else matters but that I am God's?
I know that a lot of times that thinking seems near impossible to remember all the day long. I forget it every time I embarrass myself in front of my peers, every time I feel left out by my friends, every time I do worse than expected in school. But you know what, these things are so totally out of the picture when we are talking about my relationship with God! Even if I am the outcast, and all my friends turn their backs on me, when eternity comes, all that pain will completely disappear, and the reward of faithfully following Christ will be infinitely better than the momentary reward of impressing a fellow human. Everything on earth is fading. Everything that we do for God... everlasting.
If we are loved by God, the Lord of the whole earth, then isn't it natural for us to want to love Him back? Shouldn't our praises by overflowing? Unending? Sincere? God, I love you!
Wow. I am so glad I decided to write out my feelings tonight. It taught me so much and I feel so much better prepared for tomorrow's trials. I am understanding what hope means, but it's a whole other issue to play it out- put that said hope into action.
It will take time, but Christ's hope needs to be what drives my every action. I will still fail Him, but He is a God who forgives.
I still feel Satan's temptation coming back, but I have God. He can drive that devil and the sinful thoughts away from my mind. It will be hard, but so worth it. I have a renewed reason to live- I have HOPE!
May God drive everything I do to be done in a manner reflecting the perfect promise of your hope, Jesus! I am yours! Don't let me forget! Remind me through tomorrow, and don't ever let my excitement ever dwindle! You are so awesome, Lord.
