Speak Up.

The other day I went on a walk with God, and my puppy. I just had so much energy to get rid of and felt so trapped being inside for so long, so I threw on Nichi's leash, and bolted outside to the clean, fresh summer air. We ran all down the block and onto the walking path that borders the wheat field, then stopped to catch our breath.

We paused, and took in the sight of the vast prairies, bathed in the twilight glow. The sunset was washed in purple and pink hues, rays of light streaming out over the fields, and splashing the clouds with gold. The soft beige wheat swayed to and fro, dancing reflectively with every breath of summer breeze. The temperature was indistinguishably lovely- like soft, creamy foam lathering over my body. Everything was perfect.

The beauty of it all overwhelmed me, so I just started thanking God for it. For everything. For every little thing I could name that I saw, and that I felt, and that I heard, I thanked God. So, we got to talking. So many topics flew through our conversation, and my heart burned the whole time with every new revelation He gave me.

As we walked along and chatted, a stranger biked past me. I immediately hushed, for I had been praying out loud. And as he pedaled away, I felt a pang of regret. I apologized to God. Who cares if that man heard me praying? What would he have done? What could he have done? Why does it matter if I'm caught deep in conversation with my God?

Why Should I fear man, when you made the heavens? 

Why should I be afraid when you put the stars in place?

It's like friendship. If I was talking with a friend, just goofing off and having a great time, would I suddenly quiet down if someone else passed? Would I nudge them to zip it so that no one else could hear? Of course not! First off, that's downright rude. Second of all, being a friend with someone means you aren't ashamed to be friends with them! You love each other and care for each other, why does it matter if the world can see that?

In fact, isn't that the point of Christianity? To let our life songs sing louder than the songs in church? So that people walking by will know we are Christians by the way we live and talk? So, if that man heard me praying, maybe he would think, "Okay, that's weird." But maybe He would think, "Wow. That Christianese stuff really does extend beyond the church walls." Maybe he was a Christian himself, and it would've been an encouragement to him. 

But if he didn't hear me talking to God as I walked down the path with my dog, he probably wouldn't have held any of those thoughts. In fact, I would simply be another stranger enjoying the evening.

It's even on the top of my page! Romans 1:16! For I am NOT ASHAMED of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes!

I made it my blog's theme verse. I had originally hoped that it would carry over and shape my lifestyle, too. The way I reacted on my walk showed me that I am still ashamed. I am still embarrassed. I am still afraid of the judgment of man. And that's wrong.

We call Him our best friend. He is our Saviour. Our Creator. Our Father. How can we be ashamed of someone so mighty, so big, and so powerful? And yet, every time we turn away from Him and shun Him, He still loves us the same. That's something precious about God that human beings don't often portray. He isn't angry, but He's hurt. Yet, He will still stand by our side, waiting for us to come back and acknowledge Him, and spend time with Him. 

We shouldn't be hiding Christ, we should be boasting in Him! 

Galatians 6:14 ~ May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.

After all He's done for us and promised us, the least obvious thing to be is embarrassed. It's so foolish! "Wow... He saved my life. I don't have to go to hell even though I'm a sinner, and He's going to spend the rest of my life with me.... that's embarrassing......" No! We just don't say that! But... sometimes, we act like we think that. Time to make a change.

My goal is to bring at least one soul away from the yawning gates of hell, and introduce them to the salvation that Jesus offers. I want to evangelize! to be out on the mission field, teaching the Good news! But that dream of mine won't sprout wings and fly any time soon if I'm too scared to actually live out what I believe.

I looked out again to the beauty of the fields and the coming night, and took a deep breath of pure, sweet air. The God who made all this is here. He's as real as that man who passed by on the bike. He must feel so hurt every time I pretend I wasn't talking to Him when another human might be watching. When, in reality, when others are watching- that's when we should be louder than ever! 

We're here to share Jesus! 

. . . . And that's kinda impossible to do in secret.

Sounds heavenly....

My sweet little Grandma went to heaven today. She is with the Lord.

But, what does that mean? She is with the Lord? It's a phrase we always use when a Christian brother or sister dies. Do we realize the depth of that statement? She, we believe, is finally meeting, face to face, the One whom she's put her trust in for the past 70+ years!

Isaiah 25:8-12 ~      He will swallow up death forever. The Sovereign LORD will wipe away the tears from all faces; he will remove the disgrace of his people from all the earth. The LORD has spoken.  In that day they will say, "Surely this is our God; we trusted in him, and he saved us. This is the LORD, we trusted in him; let us rejoice and be glad in his salvation."

So often we are angry because we cannot feel God near us, and we are frustrated that we must put our faith in that which we cannot see. We think, wouldn't it be great if God could just... maybe... appear, right in front of me, for just a couple seconds- just long enough that I would KNOW that He is real, and He is with me.

My dear grandmother is experiencing that right now, I believe! The tears are being wiped from her face, all her disgrace is permanently removed, and the glory that is being revealed to her is drowning out the memory of all her past troubles and sufferings! (Romans 8:18) Her blind eyes are open! This woman who hasn't been able to see for four whole years, she can see now! And it warms me to think that after such a long time of utter darkness, the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes for the first time... was Jesus' face. Wow. Wouldn't that be spectacular?

Her legs, that have not walked or even stood in four whole years, are now walking and running and leaping! I'll bet she's having the time of her life! That's right- I said life.

Her faith is proven today. She is with the One whom she had faith in, and what a reward in itself! To know, finally, that all your work was not wasted? It all counted! And she's discovering that today! Her old and frail body has been transformed! She is light and limber as she was as a youth- and better! She has the rest of eternity to spend in this glorious place that God's been preparing for her.

She's been waiting patiently in a bed, hardly moving, for four years. Though it seemed dreary and I hated to see her like that, I think it was worth it. Though it must have been hard, she doesn't remember! The riches and glories of her Father's home vastly overwhelm the petty pains and annoyances in her life before. She doesn't regret one second of her four years of silence. It wasn't a waste of time- because now, she's in eternity. And it will never run out.

What a surprise my Grandma must've had! She closed her weary eyelids for the night, and BAM! Next stop, heaven. Her excitement was probably uncontainable. Finally! Out of that old, unmovable, blind, weak body, and into the new world! Paradise! And she never has to leave!

She's probably found her daughter by now- my Auntie Brenda. Oh, they were so close when they were both alive on earth, and how my Grandma missed her dear daughter! I can just imagine them seeing each other from far away, there were probably so many tears of joy. It's been so long, but they are together again! Mother and daughter, separated by the thin hair of life.

I wonder if she's met Moses! Or Abraham... Joseph... Jonah... Queen Esther... Peter? Just stop and think about how incredible that will be! "Moses! I read all your stories in the Bible!" She will finally find out what exactly they looked like, and maybe get to hear first-hand accounts from them! Neat!!

Earlier today, soon after I received the news of her passing I thought to myself, "She's my first grandparent to die." It wasn't precisely a comforting thought. Until, I realized that I worded that completely wrong. How about: "My Grandma Rashleigh was the first Grandparent to heaven! She beat the other three!" Not that it's a competition or anything, but really- this is cause for celebration!!!

I know this may seem like a slightly different type of blog post, but I just needed to clear my mind by writing out my thoughts. This day has been just chock-full of... thinking. And I realized that, though I was sad, the more I thought about heaven and where she is now, the more I felt joy! And now as I sit here, I can say with zero guilt, that I am happy. No trace of sadness.

Yes, when people die, we miss them. That's why we grieve. If that person was unsaved, we grieve harder, and it's a time of despair. But when a Christian dies, let's party! They beat us to heaven and are having a blast! I realized that when we cry and grieve for those who are gone... who are we really grieving for? Us. Ourselves. Those left behind. We're thinking about how much we'll miss them. Are we thinking about them? If we were thinking about them completely, with 100% SELFLESS love, we would be dancing with joy. They TRULY are in a better place, and I don't say that flippantly as I have before.

Why grieve for her? She's sure not sad! In fact, she wouldn't come back to earth for a million trillion dollars! She's home now, and nothing could ever entice her to come back. Her long and tiring journey is finally over and waiting at the finish line was the most amazing prize she could have ever imagined- perfection.

I have grieved and will still mourn, I'm sure. But there's really no reason. I will miss her, but this isn't even good-bye! It's as simple as saying "See you soon!" to a friend as they leave for their summer vacation. You don't mourn. You may ache because they're gone out of your sight for now, but you know you will see them again. And this is even better! There's no need to cry! When I get to heaven, I'll be with my Grandma, my Auntie, and everyone else who is my family in Christ, and I'll be with them for eternity!

And once I've gotten there, I won't remember the sorrow that dwelt within me while I was on earth, oh no. That will be ancient history.

The Sovereign Lord Himself will wipe our tears from our eyes.

Sounds heavenly, if you ask me. =)