I've Moved!

Hello to all my readers, visitors, friends, and family who have been wondering why I've stopped writing.

Good news: I haven't stopped. I've just moved! I've changed online platforms from Blogger to Squarespace in an attempt at a more sleek, professional look, and a more reader and mobile-friendly platform.

The name has changed, the site has changed, but I haven't. I've transferred every single one of my articles from here to my new site, and I've been writing over there ever since! You'll even find all of my journals from Guatemala, Colombia, and Europe, plus a gallery with TONS of photos for your viewing pleasure.

I hope you'll follow me over to Squarespace and check out my new slice of the web. Hopefully you enjoy the new look and feel right at home. Here's the link:

http://theoffroadambassador.com/

Happy reading!

Karis Turner

Buckley's

It's been new terrain. There hasn't been much time to reflect over what's been happening as life careens past before I can even look up from the busyness, but there is one thing that I cannot get off my mind: God answers prayer, so think twice before praying.

A year ago, I had no idea how twelve months would transform my life, but I did have a prayer. I prayed earnestly that God would give me an opportunity to share Jesus. I prayed because I had anxiety over the idea of going through twelve years of high school without ever obeying the Great Commission. I was so scared that I would live eighteen years of life without ever being the missionary that I knew I was supposed to be. So I prayed, day after day, that God would give me somebody that I could witness to. I wanted to be active in the furthering of the Kingdom, and I didn't want to wait til after graduation.

Again, I tell you. Think twice before praying. I've had more people sit me down and tell me their life stories in this past year than in all the rest of my life. Some of them I had known for a time, and others were new friends, or strangers. Some were peers, some were adults. And they were all a majorly terrifying answer to prayer.

By about the twelfth person, I was brought to my knees out of stress, and had to pray, "Hey, what's up?! I'm just trying to graduate. I'm just trying to do my best at my jobs and in school and still build my relationships with my friends- why are you giving me all the weight of all these extra burdens?" When they needed something, I didn't know how to help. When they needed advice, I didn't know what to say.

And it took me a while to get it right, I'll be honest. At first, I played the neutral listener. I never gave my opinion unless it matched theirs. I tried to be as tolerant and as nonchalant as possible. I never advised any course of action; I condoned the present lifestyle, however unhealthy it was. I was so scared of losing their trust or coming across as standoffish, that I gave up on God's call. Rather than presenting Jesus as an option, I affirmed that what they were doing was fine, acceptable, and completely their business.

And their situations got worse. It was scary to hear about the deteriorating circumstances in the lives of people around me. And that's when it hit me. These people were sick. They were in need of help, and they were calling out for help. But instead of being the doctor, I was the receptionist that listened to their issue, told them to come back in a week for another chat, and then sent them home. And yet, I was surprised when they came back sinking deeper and deeper in trouble.

It finally hit me. I asked God to make me a witness for Him, and He gave me a long list of opportunities. I didn't recognize them at first. I played the pacifist. I didn't want to offend, I didn't want to intimidate. And as I tried to be as pleasant and easygoing as I could, these new friends got no better. God had positioned me to be the light in their life, and I unplugged myself. He wanted to use me to be the light that pointed them to Jesus, but I gave them sunglasses.

The first time that I stepped out just a little bit and gave them a real tidbit of advice, I braced myself. I was expecting a shutdown. I was expecting the barriers to go up, and the relationship to be put into deadlock. But all that followed was curiosity, interest, and hope. Hope. I had been encouraging sin. I had been affirming a life lived apart from Christ. So when they continued in the way that I had been supporting, things grew hopeless when my suggestions didn't work. But the moment I brought out the real medicine, scared as I was, there was a glimmer of real hope. A chance of recovery. A possibility of renewal. Every time I passed up the opportunity to speak life, I was missing what it really means to be a missionary.

I found that even when I was open with my faith, people didn't shy away like I expected. Even those who expressed a distrust for religion seemed to be interested in my worldview. They wanted answers, and their desperation caused them to look just about anywhere.

It became apparent that while they while they thought they wanted the chocolate, what they needed was Buckley's. "It tastes awful. And it works." Is there any simpler way to describe the way the Gospel reaches us as sinners by nature?

It scared me, listening to the stories of struggle and pain, and hearing the band-aids that these people were putting over their bullet holes. It scared me, and I wondered if I was letting down my guard too much. I didn't know if I was strong enough to be their support. I didn't know if I was strong enough to be there for all of them. I didn't know if I was strong enough to hold my ground. God had given me a love for them, but I didn't want to lose myself. If you're standing on a chair, it's easy for somebody to come up, grab your arm, and pull you down to ground level. It's much harder for you to grab their arm and lift them onto the chair with you. But that's exactly what The Great Commission is. I do not believe that it is the purpose of a Christian to push the lost out of their lives. There is definitely merit to the statement, "You are who you hang out with," but I do not believe that it is our job to stay away from the sick and confused.

Mark 2:15-17~

Later, Levi invited Jesus and his disciples to his home as dinner guests, along with many tax collectors and other disreputable sinners. (There were many people of this kind among Jesus’ followers.) But when the teachers of religious law who were Pharisees saw him eating with tax collectors and other sinners, they asked his disciples, “Why does he eat with such scum?” When Jesus heard this, he told them, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.”

There's a need for balance in all of our lives. Church, personal devotions, and solid friends of faith are key in building us up, and holding us accountable. On the other hand, we have all eternity to spend with God and the Godly. We only have a limited amount of years to reach the unsaved. To be afraid is to give up on the greatest assignment ever given to mankind. Jesus never asked His followers to go and disciple the nations. He told His faithful friends the expectation, and it remains the mission to this very day.

Being a witness doesn't require street evangelism, or handing out Gospel tracts. We can fulfill this daily mission by simply living humbly, and Christlike. We should be living in a way that attracts people, intrigues people, but leaves them nothing to criticize. We should be living in a way that labels us as followers of Jesus, but leaves nothing worth condemning. We should be living in such a way that those who blame us and persecute us are at a loss for words. Nobody says it better than Peter:

1 Peter 3:13-17~

Now, who will want to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you suffer for doing what is right, God will reward you for it. So don’t worry or be afraid of their threats. Instead, you must worship Christ as Lord of your life. And if someone asks about your Christian hope, always be ready to explain it. But do this in a gentle and respectful way. Keep your conscience clear. Then if people speak against you, they will be ashamed when they see what a good life you live because you belong to Christ. Remember, it is better to suffer for doing good, if that is what God wants, than to suffer for doing wrong!

I prayed. God answered. I botched it, He fixed it. Just another year in the life of yours truly.

Chapter 2

Tonight I will be closing a chapter in my life. The chapter of childhood. When we count down to New Years, I will be counting down to adulthood. I've survived 18 years of blessed madness, and God has brought me safely to this milestone in one piece.

But of course, once I pass this milestone, there's no going back. So in an effort to summarize 18 years of existence into one short post, I'll begin with the things that I have come to understand in this little life of mine.

1. God is real. It's debated among the professionals. It's argued among the scientists. It's the defining point of any worldview. I've wrestled with it for years, and have had countless moments of doubt. But through logic, good teaching, and personal revelation, I can truly say that there is no doubt in my mind. No matter how many arguments I hear, the evidence for the God of the Bible trumps them. Every. Single. Time. So while a good portion of my life so far has been spent speculating and pondering and questioning God's very existence, I've come to know that there is no other option. My prayer is that I cam go deeper in my knowledge and understanding of God. I want to move past the basics. I want to rest assured in the truth of His existence, and then learn more. I want to be done with the milk, and move on to solid food. 

Hebrews 5:13-14 ~ "Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil."

With this truth in mind, I am ready to dig deeper than ever before. I want this knowledge to stand firm in my mind, so that it can be the root of every thing I say and do. I want the reality of God and heaven to be so tangible and evident in my life. God has convinced me of himself, and it's time to follow Him as He reveals more of himself to me.

2. God is righteous. Similar, but definitely different. There are many who believe God is real, but are not convinced that He is what He says He is. He says He is all-good, and many cannot reconcile that statement with the horrible tragedies that happen every day on this planet. "Why would a good God allow bad things to happen?" It's a fair question, and I've wrestled with the question and have explored many verses and cases. In short, God has put my mind at peace with this understanding: He is infinitely big, and we are nothing. He is infinitely good, and we are corrupt. He is all-knowing, and we are shallow and blind. How, therefore, could we ever expect to question God's ways? How could we, who have no understanding of true righteousness, understand the One who is truly righteous? It's impossible. Our mortal brains cannot comprehend anything perfect... at least not on this side of eternity. We can question God's ways. We can point a finger at Him. We can shake our fists and demand answers. OR, we can be still and know that He is all-good, and all-loving, forever. It's a truth that we can only accept through faith. It doesn't mean we understand every earthquake, tsunami, or act of terrorism. But it means that we choose faith when we observe everything that God does or doesn't do. He has things under control, and His righteousness and love are 100% steadfast.

Job 36:26 ~ "Look, God is greater than we can understand. His years cannot be counted."

3. Material pleasure is worthless. I've written too many posts about this topic for it to be ignored. This is one thing that God has laid heavily on my heart. Although I still fall into the temptation that wealth and material things bring, God has been chiseling away at that weakness for quite a long time. Heading into the big one-eight, it brings me joy to be able to say that material possessions are no longer occupying any pedestal in my life. I'm not perfect, but this is one thing I am convinced of. God has taught me that possessions can not be my be-all and end-all. Rather, they are tools. They are tools that can and should be used to honour God in some way. So now, I thank God for lending me everything I have- and I'm pretty stoked to figure out how to use all these assets to give back to Him.

1 John 2:15-17 ~ "Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever."

4. Evangelism is not an option. This is something I figured out years ago. Ever since my first opportunity to witness to a group of strangers face-to-face, the realization of the emergence of evangelism has never wavered in my mind. It's the dreaded 'E' word that scares so many children of faith. However, being convinced of the absolute reality of God and heaven, I cannot deny the reality of hell. In that case, how can I possibly give any excuse for shying away from the opportunity to share Jesus with the unsaved? I can't, and I won't. I've waited 18 years for the chance to be recognized as a responsible citizen of this world. It takes 18 years until we are technically recognized as people with intentions, goals, dreams, opinions, and plans. (At least, it sure feels that way.) I've spent a lot of time on this blog talking about my "someday." "Someday I'll go overseas...." "Someday I'll be a street evangelist..." "Someday I'll be a youth pastor..." "Someday I'll be a speaker..." "Someday I will be published..." And when I said "Someday," I meant, "When I'm an adult." Well, I may still be in high school, but I can't postpone 'someday' too long. While it's hard to do much when you're stuck in school working hard for a piece of paper in June, it's a life that is envied by most of the world. This education, though it's taken up almost all my life so far, will hopefully be worth it in the end. Hopefully, it will be what can open the doors to opportunities to serve God with everything I've learned. A new chapter of my life starts when the clock strikes midnight, and I don't want to pass up a single opportunity to fulfill my role as a disciple of Christ. I want to live with #noregrets. And by that, I don't mean getting wasted and living recklessly. No, I mean that at the end of my life, I don't want to be haunted by the God-callings that I ignored, or the opportunities to use my gifts that I was too scared to take. I have plenty of those already, and I'm ready to be done with that fear. 

Romans 1:16 ~ "For I am not ashamed of the Gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes; first for the Jew, then for the Gentile."

5. I can't stop writing. In preschool, I played my first few notes on the piano. In kindergarten, I started singing. In grade 3, I started dancing. In grade 6, I started swimming. In grade 7, I began to focus on academics. In grade 9, I started this blog. And while all those things have opened up so many opportunities already, I've loved the experiences and amazing chances I've gotten with all these different pursuits. Travelling, performing, competing, ministering, worshiping, working, creating, teaching, leading, and witnessing are just a few of the amazing things I've gotten to participate in and, God-willing, life's just starting! While all of these things have led to fantastic experiences, writing has been something different. I've been self-publishing blog posts for just under three years, and I honest cannot believe the amount of feedback. I remember writing my first post and thinking, "This is embarrassing. Who would care to read the thoughts of a small-town junior high girl?" And that's just the first of many times that God has shown me His love for turning mediocrity into something remarkable. My blogger dashboard shows me the different countries across the globe where people have stumbled upon my scattered thoughts. People have been nothing short of gracious and generous in their feedback and constant encouragement. These posts have been read at services, funerals, and youth groups- and nobody is more amazed than I am. It's not me. It's all God. I've had encounters with strangers who have told me that God is using my writing, and that it would simply be wrong to stop. After about the hundredth encounter, it was clear. This is something that I need to continue to do, and pursue after high school. I have every intention of writing my way to the grave. I had many nights in past years where I lay awake so worried about the future. I would pray fervently that God would show me His plan, so that I would have a clue what to do with my life. I am so privileged to be one of the lucky people that gets His plan spelled out in black-and-white, right before my eyes. He has been patient with me by telling me His plan through so many different people. So whatever happens after grad, you can bet it will have something to do with a paper, pen, Bible, and keyboard.

Matthew 25:29 ~ "To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given, and they will have an abundance. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away."

I could turn this list into a novel, but I have a blog with 108 posts that cover the rest pretty well. When I try to look far back into the past, I can see so many blessings and lessons that God has showered on me from day 1. In just a few short hours, I will close chapter 1 and open a fresh blank page titled, Chapter 2. I have ideas, thoughts, and clues as to what kinds of adventures these next pages might illustrate, but I'm not the author. Where I'll be from now, only God knows. Wherever I am and whatever I'm doing, I pray that I will be standing firm on these five foundation blocks that I believe God has drilled into my life. 

Good things are comin'. In death or in life, good things are comin'. Life is tough, but Jesus is tougher. With Christ in us, there is no room for fear. We are nomads in a place not our home. We're just passing through. So get up, pack up, and put a brave face on. We've got a Daddy at home that never loses sight of us for a second. This is your life. Are you who you want to be? This is your life that you are borrowing from God. So the better question is, are you who He wants you to be?

Bring on 2016. And bring on adulthood.

Christianity 2.0.16

Christianity today is a beautiful thing. The youth of today's culture are very attracted to it, which is obviously a plus. Churches and youth conferences have finally figured out a way to reach all the lost souls who have no intention of living a new lifestyle! For all those hard-to-reach individuals who are comfortable with their way of living, today's Christianity has found a way to reach them where they're at, and help them stay there! Nobody needs to change, anymore! With a beautifully customize-able religion available at any youth conference or new age congregation, Christianity is finally easily available to anyone and everyone! If you're embarrassed of your sin, no problem! Modern Christianity will help you see that it's just a part of your personality, and you can learn to love yourself the way you are! Got a habit that's hard to kick? No sweat. Just join a youth group near you, and learn how to hang out in a healthy environment and feel uplifted. Depressed? Anxious? Hey- it's never been easier. Just go to a Christian concert with lots of lights, fog, and loud drums. You will definitely FEEL the presence of God every time the drummer rolls those cymbals. The Holy Spirit resides in those beautiful keyboard vibes. If the music gives you goosebumps, it's a sign that God has supernaturally healed you of any disorders or health problems. Just go with it.

We've upgraded Christianity so much, we've finally achieved the religion that suits our wishes. It's everything we dreamed it would be: fast, friendly, accepting, tolerant, comforting, trendy, and socially acceptable. We've finally figured out that the doctrine of obedience and submission to Christ does not draw in the crowds quite like the doctrine of self-love, self-acceptance, and YOLO. Now that we have a religion that attracts thousands of youth, all we have to do is make sure they STAY. Of course, as the youth of today's culture are particularly sensitive and prone to taking offense, we cannot, by any means, tell them to stop sinning. They would well up with tears and run in the opposite directions. If we want to have a hope of reaching the young and impressionable individuals of today's western society, we need to make sure we show no condemnation, and turn a blind eye to their problems. If they feel judged, we've lost them.

So welcome to your new and improved, fully personalized and customize-able Christianity. No obedience, commitment, or change in behavior required. It has evolved from being a totally consuming way of life, to a luxurious and comfortable hobby that also acts as a ticket to get in on totally rad conferences and awesome youth group events.

Because we no longer adhere to a large portion of Jesus' commands, we do not need to love God. Freedom! Finally! No rules, no regulations, and no bossy God. All we need to do is love our bodies, our lives, and our friends. Jesus and God were okay... but following them comes with so many rules and includes giving up our own ways... which is not fun. In John 14:15, Jesus said, "If you love me, you will obey my commands." There you have it. We don't have to love Jesus anymore. In John 14:14, Jesus said, "You are my friends if you do what I command." So... I guess we don't have to be friends of God any longer. We're past that. Welcome to the New Age.

But... okay, wait. Luke 11:28 says, "Blessed are those who hear the word of God and obey it." Well, we've all heard the Word of God. We read our favourite verses over and over again to help people feel loved, secure, and give them a Spiritual high. But we are blessed when we obey it? Where's the fun in that? Listening to them read aloud gives such a warm and fuzzy good feeling, why should we risk losing the good feeling by actually obeying it? Let's forget about this verse. It probably doesn't apply anymore.

Oh. I guess there's also 1 Peter 1:14. "As obedient children, do not conform to the evil desires you had when you lived in ignorance." Huh. I thought we were supposed to accept ourselves the way we are. We are always told that we don't have to change for anybody. We're told to be true to ourselves. This is what pop culture Christianity told us- did pop culture Christianity read this verse?

Oh, great. Then there's Romans 2:6-10. "God 'will give to each person according to what he has done.' To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor, and immortality, he will give eternal life. But to those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger." WHAT? Come on, Jesus. Why aren't you conforming to 21st Century Christianity?

1 John 3:24 says, "Whoever keeps his commandments abides in God, and God in him. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit whom he has given us." Okay, no. I know the Spirit abides in us because we get goosebumps during Hillsong's choruses. I know the Holy Spirit abides in us because of the high we get when the lights go crazy and the crowds all raise their hands and cheer. But you're telling me that the Spirit abides in those who actually obey God's commandments? Shoot.

Luke 6:46 - "Why do you call me 'Lord, Lord!' and not do what I tell you?" Um... because.... uh.....

John 13:17 - "If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them."

James 2:17 - "In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead." Wow. Harsh.

I can't tell you how many times at youth events or ultramodern church services I have heard messages of tolerance and acceptance preached with missionary zeal. But I can probably count on one hand the messages I have heard about sin, obedience, and what it truly means to be a Christian. We have dumbed this religion down to the point where it is hardly more than the chance to listen to good music, live a healthier lifestyle, and feel accomplished. There's no struggle, there's no challenge, there's just a personal statement of how the forgiveness of Christ is so relieving, and the love of God helps us love ourselves. That is not Christianity. That's hardly religion. It's hardly anything.

I have been to worship services where the lead singer has told us, with no exaggeration, "If you feel shivers while you're singing, that's God. If you are getting goosebumps and feel the tears, it's the Holy Spirit filling your life. So don't shut down that feeling." No. God can certainly meet people in moments like that, but the slow chord progressions and hype that surround that type of service is not a secret recipe that will summon God's presence. Jesus is where His followers are. Jesus reveals himself to those who actually step out in faith, following his commands. He is found where His disciples are. Christianity is not a fandom. It's a Kingdom ruled by a King who loves His servants and uses them to expand His Kingdom.

Paul opened the letter of Romans with these words: "This letter is from Paul, a slave of Christ Jesus, chosen by God to be an apostle and sent out to preach his good news."

I have had friends, acquaintances, and even strangers open up to me and share their problems. They often are in the middle of a crisis- and are having difficulties because of the choices they have made. And they are broken. And they aren't looking for affirmation of their ways. They aren't looking for a "Well, at least God loves you," or a "You're doing great- just don't let anybody bring you down." No, they're looking for answers. And while we always say that Jesus is the answer, the more correct answer is the submission to Jesus.

We often try to make it comfy for the prisoners behind bars. We can give them pillows and blankets, we can decorate their cell, and we can provide company. But until we actually give them the KEY, they are still not free. And once they are shown the key, it is up to them to leave the comfort of their jail cell behind, and join the world as a slave of Christ.

This is the message that we should be preaching. In Christ, there is freedom. Without Christ, there is sin and death. Let's stop 'accepting' sin. Let's stop encouraging the lost in the path they're taking. They may be living a comfortable life on earth with a cross necklace and tickets to a Bethel Music concert, but the comfort only lasts for this life. Anybody can walk the pathway to Hell thinking to themselves, "I am perfect the way I am. I am loved. I don't need to change. I don't need to do anything differently. My flaws make me beautiful. I'm fine the way I am." It takes a true Christian to make the 180 degree turn, and walk the path toward Heaven saying, "I am a sinner. I need Christ. I will follow His commands. I love Him, because He first loved me."

Matthew 7:21 ~ "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord!' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven."

This is the message that needs to be preached. This is the message that is not being preached to the youth of this nation. This coming year, let's pray that God will show us how to reroute Christianity back onto its intended path.

Let's make Christianity-2016 A.D. just like Christianity-1 A.D. Christ hasn't changed, and neither should His followers.

The American Christmas Dream

All I hear from the Christian community at this time of year is to "Put Christ back in Christmas." And to that, I say this: Putting the word "Christ" back in "Christmas" does not put Him back in the season. As long as His followers fight and complain over having C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S printed out on every sign, how can Jesus be anywhere near? We insist that the holiday is called Christmas, but we still live as though it is called Selfmas.

As long as his followers are investing all their time, energy, and money on personal gains this holiday season, they are not keeping Christ in Christmas. When the representation of Jesus is limited to the Christmas Eve Service at church, and Starbucks coffee cups decorated just a certain way... how can He be pleased?

Just about every person I know is stuck in an American Christmas Dream. I'm stuck too. It's the dream where the success of the holidays is determined by how much money you spent on others, and how much money others spent on you. It's about putting on a civil face and showing up to every party and event that will put you on good terms with the hosts. As the great band Switchfoot once said in their song, "American Dream,"

When success is equated with excess

The ambitions for excess wrecks us

As top of the mind becomes the bottom line

When success is equated with excess

If your time ain't been nothing but money,

I start to feel really bad for you, honey

Maybe honey, put your money where your mouth's been running

If your time ain't been nothing but money.

What's sad to me is that the way most Christians live at Christmas is acceptable. It's politically proper, it's socially sensible, and it's culturally compatible. In other words, it's nothing like Jesus.

I want out of this machine

It doesn't feel like freedom

Like a puppet on a monetary string, 

Maybe we've been caught singing

Red, white, blue, and green

But That ain't my American Dream

I'm proposing a theory. What if Jesus doesn't just magically show up wherever "Christmas" is written? What if Jesus isn't pleased by violent Facebook debates and pious arguments? What if, instead, Jesus resides in the places where He is represented. Anybody can wish "Merry Christmas!" But it takes a true disciple to make the phrase mean something.

As disciples of Christ, it's our job to represent Christ in his physical absence. It's the mission He gave us. And while we say that we should be remembering that mission especially at Christmastime, oftentimes, we do the opposite. We blend in perfectly with the greed and competition all around us. We follow the frenzied crowds, wild for presents and food. There is no distinction between Christ's supposed ambassadors and the nonbelievers.

This ain't my American Dream

I want to live and die for better things

I'm tired of fighting just for me

This ain't my American Dream.

Putting Christ back in Christmas should be a sacrifice. And if it doesn't cost you something, it's not happening. I don't mean sell everything you have and forgo the Christmas celebration. No, I don't think it's the celebration that displeases Christ. In fact, I think the celebration honours Him. It's the bickering and fighting and extravagant spending and greed it takes to get to the celebration that I can't see as pleasing to Him. The vibe I get from reading the Gospels is that Jesus loves the little things. The two pennies put in the offering. The little children and those who truly care for them. Faith. Love. Sacrifice. Joy. Hope. Peace.

What if these things became our focus this Christmas? What if we stopped frantically running around scribbling His name everywhere, and actually lived in His likeness? He is here, and we can prove that to the world that sees us as greedy and selfish this time of year. We can prove that He is real, and that He is present. We can prove it when we live like He would.

Ephesians 5:1-2 ~

Follow God's example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk

in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant

offering and sacrifice to God.

1 Peter 2:9 ~ 

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for

his own poessession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you

out of darkness into his marvelous light. 

We can be Christ to the lost, unloved, needy, and hopeless. We can be Jesus to the world. And that is how we can put Christ back in Christmas.

Breathing Underwater

It's like I'm standing in the rain and you offer me a raincoat

But I would rather stand there wringing wet than take the handout.

What's wrong with me? You said you've always got your hands out

And I cannot continue on my own so take my hands now.

I give you everything, God, not just a little bit.

Take it from me, I am nothing but a hypocrite.

I hate sin, but I built a house and I still live in it

Afraid to open up the door to you and let you into it.

My soul is lost and what it needs is your direction

I know, I've told you I do not need your protection

but I lied to you. This thing is tiring

A man was not created for it.

God, please retire me now.

This prayer comes from the song "I'll Keep on" by NF, and for me, it couldn't be more true. There is never any end to the events, there is never any end to the schedules. There are always commitments. Favours. Chores. So, when I get a spare moment, I lie to myself and convince myself that all I need is food, Netflix, and sleep. I close my door, and tune out the craziness of life that surrounds me every waking moment of every day.

So I curl up on my bed, sigh with exhaustion, and try to think about nothing. And He is always standing there, watching me get drenched in the downpour of responsibilities, holding out a raincoat. And what do I tell Him? "Not now, God... I am in the middle of my five minutes of relaxation. Don't bother me with that raincoat now- I need to rest and recover before the next thing."

So I lie back down, cover myself in a blanket, and rest. While the rain continues to pour. And I'm shivering, trembling, freezing, numb, and soaked. But I'm resting. I'm lying there, trying to get a bit of shuteye before I have to go back to work, or school, or wherever else, and the rain is still coming down in buckets.

And He stands there offering me an umbrella. And what do I say to Him? "I don't have time, God. I have to be at work in 30 minutes. What I need right now is to just lie here and forget about everything for just a second." So I roll over, shut my eyes, and try not to drown in the flood that's filling my room and filling my bed. 

And He is there, right beside me, holding out his hand to pull me into his boat. But no, little blue, shaky, waterlogged, sick me folds her arms and says, "God, I want to watch another episode. I never get time to myself. I'm always busy- just let me have a little bit of time to veg out and watch my show." So I stare at my phone and enjoy my little moment of peace, even though I can't breathe anymore.

And suddenly, I'm drowning. And I know I'm drowning because I start praying angry prayers. "God, where are you?" "God, do you even care?" "God, why can't I ever stay close to you?"

And then, every single time, He's my lifeguard. Coughing and sputtering and barely breathing, He pulls me out from the waves. He resuscitates me with His breath of life. He revives me with His Spirit. He renews me with His promises. He comforts me with His hope of salvation. And the tender strength of His infallible embrace makes me ask myself... Why didn't I just put on the raincoat?

The devil is really good at convincing me that spending time with God will be tiring. The devil is a genius when he tells me that doing absolutely nothing will make me feel better. I listen to him all the time. And therefore,  I am mentally fatigued... all the time. But when I finally see my Bible sitting at the edge of my bed after a week of neglect and I am wracked with guilt, and when I finally pick it up to read even a few verses while my eyes are drooping... the rain lets up. Every precious second I spend with God keeps the stress at bay. With every burden that I mention to Him, He dries me off and warms me up.

It shouldn't have to come to the point of drowning for me to finally realize that I need Jesus. I'm learning that as soon as the skies start to drizzle, the raincoat is in my best interest. I need to start taking full advantage of what God offers me... Because what He offers is to MY full advantage. Talking to God right then and there, opening up my Bible and catching a glimpse of His perspective... that's where He lifts my Spirits.

Philippians 4:6-7~

Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.

Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. 

Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.

His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

In Other News...

Yep, I have no idea what 's going on. There's talk of war and there's talk of peace. There's talk of hope and there's talk of despair. There's talk of safety and talk of great danger. There's proposals and arguments. There's ideas. There's anger. There's mainly uncertainty. Maybe nobody has a clue.

It's strange, living in a country where things don't normally go wrong on a provincial or federal scale. It's strange, growing up in a generation that gets its kicks out of high action and high intensity movies... and then wondering if maybe it's all coming to life. It's strange. It's all very strange.

And I know that might sound petty and frivolous when people are being mass murdered, thrown off buildings, and exploded, and maybe it is. All I know is that around me, wherever I look, I just see uncertainty. I hear so many different opinions every day, all from people I know and trust. I change my mind all the time concerning today's world events. One day I say, "Let the refugees in!" The next, I say, "Keep them out- for now." Then I switch and think, "Let the women and children in." And in the end, I have to admit that I don't know. I don't have an answer, and I haven't found anyone who does.

It's frightening, but also surreal. It's like we, the privileged, rich, healthy, and educated children of North America, are now being faced with the things that we've known about all our lives, but never had to face. Ask any five-year-old at your church about the problems of this world, and they will surely rattle them off with a nonchalant grin on their face: Poverty, war, starvation, disease, orphans, slavery, etc.

I'm one of those kids. Me and all my friends. We've had it good so far. Easy. We've been living in heaven, compared to the rest of humanity. It's like we have created two worlds in our minds- at least, I know I have. One world spins on its axis and houses me, my family, my friends, my school, my church, my life. This world has its share of problems, but they are minor. I graduate, I go to university, I learn and grow, I meet new friends, I travel and explore, I get a job that I love, I earn money, I get married to Prince Charming, I have two perfect kids, and I eventually die of old age. That's my world.

The other world spins on its axis and its where everyone else lives. The homeless, the destitute, the unemployed, the sick and dying, the poor, the lonely, the orphans, the oppressed, the second and third world countries. This world has nothing but problems. They are major. People die every day. People are born, they survive, they scavenge or beg for food, they care for their sick family members, they find shelter anywhere they can, they are always on the run, they don't have a home, they are martyred for their faith, they die young. That's their world. I've gone to that world. I've been to Southeast Asia and spent time with some of the poorest people on the planet. I've been to Guatemala and seen the brokenness and suffering... but they have been mere snippets. For all my life, I've been content to watch both worlds spin separately. They hardly coincide. They exist on their own. They seem independent.

But now, for the first time in my life that I can remember, the other world seems to be knocking on our door. I've gone to them, I've tossed a prayer up for them... but now, that world has come to us. They are coming. They  have arrived. What my generation has been watching in theaters as we eat popcorn... it's happening on our shores. Secret hacker groups exist, and they can do real damage. Terrorism exists, and it can even reach seemingly invincible prosperous nations. Poverty and oppression may be most rampant in places like the middle east, but it's spreading. Trouble is brewing. The flame is being kindled every day. There are more people living on earth today than at any other time in history.... And if they could botch things up terribly back then, how much damage could we do with 7 billion?

So, no. I don't know. I wish I did. Nobody knows what to do. Discussions arise every day in class, but nobody truly knows what's going on, or what should be done. One minute, we are discussing scholarships and planning our futures. The other minute, we are wondering if we will ever reach those futures. One minute, we are planning our families and dreaming about life. The next minute, even life is uncertain. One minute, we are excited to graduate. The next minute, we are wanting to stay in the security of adolescence. There is fear, even though we are too confused to show it.

But how blind are we?! Did we really think that the world would keep quiet and calm to allow the millennials an easy passage through life? Did we really think that all conflicts were in the past? My mind jumps from ISIS to my Physics test to the Syrian refugees to my relationships to Anonymous to my family and back. I may be oblivious, but I notice that even the older people in my life that I respect and trust... are drawing a blank.

So here's what I've decided to do. For starters, I've accepted that there's nothing I can do... on a worldly scale. I could post mean tweets about Justin Trudeau, I could write nasty letters that would get lost with the millions of others, but in reality, I do not have much of a voice in this scenario. Even if I had a clear picture of how Canada should respond, I cannot enforce it. I do not have that power.

Realizing my insignificance politically, I've decided to take up the torch in a different way. My focus has been turned to the middle east and Paris, I've been fretting over problems that I have no control over, and decisions that are not mine to make. Meanwhile, I've been neglecting the problems that I can do something about, and I've been ignoring the decisions that are mine to make... like my decision to love every person in my school. Or my decision to take time for God. Or my decision to live a healthy lifestyle. These are my decisions, not Trudeau's, not ISIS', not Anonymous', but mine.

The world is full of evil, and it's now becoming apparent to us young'uns who have been relatively sheltered all our lives. This I know: Satan cannot drive out Satan. (Matthew 12:27) Goodness is the only thing that can drive out evil. I believe that every time I act in obedience to God, I push back the dark. And even though that darkness is enclosing us and feels suffocating, it cannot extinguish our light until the day that we deny Christ... and that's not happening on my watch.

So, starting with the little things, I'm going to push back the dark. I will smile at strangers. I will conduct myself in a way pleasing to God at the store, restaurants, dorms, school, and church. I will pray for my friends and family consistently. I will pray for my country every day. I will pray for those suffering at the hands of extremists all over the world. I will pray for Muslim radicals, atheist radicals, dangerous people overseas, and for dangerous people in Canada. I will pray for the government. I will pray. And I believe that if I can learn to obey God in the little things, daily, He will carry me to completion when the big decisions come. They're not here yet, but they may be here soon. I hope to be aware and diligent in the choices I make every day, big or small, even to the day when a gun is put to my head and I pay for my choice to follow Jesus with my life. That's my decision.

1 John 5:18-19~

Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. 

If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not

fully experienced his perfect love. We love each other

because He loved us first.

1 John 3:24~

Those who obey God's commandments remain in fellowship with him, and he with them. 

And we know he lives in us because the Spirit he gave us lives in us.

1 John 4:12~

No one has ever seen God.

But if we love each other, God lives in us,

and his love is brought to full expression in us.

Be encouraged, and never lose hope. Our future is uncertain. It may play out exactly as we hope and dream, but it may take an alternate route through insanity. We don't know, and we won't until it happens. So until it does, let's prepare ourselves. Let's start training now. Let's step up to the plate as God's army of Light and Love. Push the darkness out of your room, out of your house, out of your community and town. 

We are secure in Christ. The worst that could happen to us is death... but for our family of believers, death is a total win.

And.

There's not a single child I've met who doesn't believe that they can do anything. There's not a single little girl I've met who doesn't think she's a princess. There's not a single little boy I've met who doesn't think he's a superhero. Though they may not explicitly announce their secret indestructible identity, (although they often will,) they live as though there's nothing they cannot do.

They act like royalty one second, and wild Tarzans the next. They go from the bottom of the sea to Everest in a moment. They can have quiet tea parties for animals who talk, fight off pirates for buried treasure, and travel to Mars all before naptime.

When opportunities to try new things come around, it's the teens and adults who shy away, glancing nervously around to see if anyone else will try. It's the young'uns who step right up and see what they can do. They want to learn all the tricks. They want to try every stunt. They want to wear every dress. They want to drive every car. They want to fly.

They are daredevils. They don't see consequences. They don't analyze the situation. They just dive straight in, headfirst. They test the limits. They make mistakes, get scraped up, break a bone or two, get a few burns, twist an ankle, stub a toe, get a bloody nose.

I have a distinct memory from when I was about six years old. Our tenants saw me digging madly in the garden outside with a miniature plastic spade. Amused, they came over and asked me, "Karis, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

I remember the conversation because of how they responded when I told them, completely seriously, "I'm going to be a Princess, a Queen, a soldier, a police officer, a firefighter..." Here they began to snicker, "...a doctor, a nurse, a bus driver, a teacher, a pilot, a chef..." Here they began to laugh and shake their heads like adults love to do, "...a rockstar, a pianist, a dancer, a gymnast..." Here they couldn't contain themselves anymore. "...and a builder and an artist."

I clearly remember their reply through their squinty, laughing eyes: "Is that all?" To which I though to myself, 'No....' but to which I replied, "Yes." I was confused why my answer was so funny. I was being totally honest. My life seemed to stretch on without end, so why wouldn't I be able to do everything? What was holding me back? I was healthy and strong- why couldn't I do it all?

Their last bit of advice they gave to me before leaving to chuckle over tea was, "Karis, that sounds amazing! But normally people just pick one or two of those things."

...Oh.

They are born without the little voice that says, 'You can't do that.' Unfortunately, they are given that voice as they grow.

They see the cliff and immediately think, 'I can climb that- watch me!' Then they scamper towards it as fast as their little legs can carry them, before they are caught by Mum, who lets them know how dangerous it is. They learn that heights are not their friend. They learn to stay away from the edge. They learn to keep their feet on the ground.

They see the water and think, 'I'm a mermaid- watch me swim!' And they go to jump into the deep pool but are stopped by the lifeguard who tells them that they aren't old enough, strong enough, or skilled enough. They would drown. They learn to stay in the shallow water. They learn to swim like a human, not like a mermaid.

They see the swing and think, 'I can fly- watch me do it!' And they go higher and higher until they are almost touching the clouds... until Dad runs alongside them and works the swing lower and lower, until it's oscillating at a safe height. They learn that they could fall. They learn that gravity pulls them down. They learn to play it safe.

They learn that some things are impossible. They learn that they are mortal. Fallible. Fragile.

See, most young children don't have the capacity to look at themselves through a lens tainted by the world. They don't see themselves objectively. They don't see themselves from the outside looking in. They don't shape themselves based on the world around them, but they believe they can shape the world with what's inside.

But as we get older, we learn how to be critics. We become very good at figuring out the flaws and researching our inadequacies. We trade in our eyes that once saw only love, grace, acceptance, for eyes that seek judgment, analysis, and objectivity.

Jesus loves the way children see things. He loves their hearts. He loves their minds. He loves their souls. He tells the older people to do their best to remember the way their mind worked as a child. He tells us to live like them. To be content with innocence, and to have faith without condition. To stop limiting ourselves, and by extension, God.

Matthew 18:1-3~

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, "Who, then, is the greatest in

the Kingdom of Heaven?" He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them.

And he said, "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you

will never enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

Matthew 18:10~

"See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. 

For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven."

Mark 10:13-14, 16~

People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked

them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, "Let the little children

come to me, and do not hinder them. For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to 

such as these... and he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them, 

and blessed them."

The thing is, even those children that Jesus blessed and used as examples of purity and faith... they grew up. They probably learned how to be insecure. They were probably taught how to find flaws, and criticize themselves and those around them. It's the age old problem. We take God's gift of life and show Him everything that is wrong with it. We take what he has designed so meticulously for us and throw it in his face.

We all face self-consciousness, fear of rejection, and look in the mirror to see imperfection staring back at us. As a body of believers, however, this is not how Christians should be living life. We are hear to speak Truth into people's lives, and live by that Truth! To tell people they are priceless, loved, and beautiful, and then look in the mirror and remind ourselves of the things we are incapable of... it's called being two-faced.

Let's learn to call out the beauty we see in others. What we are tempted to criticize, let's look at through God's eyes. While we see flaws as hindrances, He sees them as bursting with potential. What we call imperfections, he calls opportunities to glorify Him. He makes beauty from ashes, crowns from dust, flowers from rain. 

So let's step back and take a look at our list of possibilities we had when we were children. Let's look at the things we believed we could and would do... and let's stop crossing off options. Don't limit yourself, and don't limit God. Don't dream of accomplishing just one thing. Bring back the "and's" from your childhood list of dreams. Who ever said that we could do one thing, and nothing more? Who ever said that God created us to succeed in one area, and fail everywhere else? No. It's not up to you to make that call. It's up to Him. He can take you and turn you into that jack of all trades, or he could turn you into an expert in a specific department. The point is, don't close off His options! Be ready to answer His one call, or his many calls! He can take a willing heart and use it to level mountains, bring down empires, build societies, change the world.... or He can take a willing heart and use it to level mountains AND bring down empires AND build societies AND change the world.

You and I are full of iniquities, but we are also full of a God who is not.

He will take a willing heart. A heart that says nothing is impossible. 

A six-year-old's heart.

You Know What This Post is About.

I'm not really a politically-minded person, but I am sure of one thing: Canada has a new Prime Minister, but we have the exact same God.

I am also fairly certain that this world is going downhill. It's inevitable. It's been predicted. In fact, it's been happening ever since the Fall of Man. Nothing is perfect, and nothing will ever be perfect until the 2nd Coming of Christ.

Political corruption shouldn't be a surprise to any of us, especially to believers. Political instability shouldn't come as a shock. The world is in desperate need of redemption. Followers of Christ should know this.

Whether this election's results pleased you or horrified you, here's a gentle reminder: Jesus has called us to be active in the work of His Kingdom, not spectators of His plan. Whether you agree with Justin Trudeau's policies or stand firmly against them, it doesn't matter. We serve GOD rather than man. We live under the government of Heaven, not the government of Canada. We are ambassadors sent from a distant land, soldiers with a mission separate from that of any political leader's.

So whichever way the votes tip the balance, it should never intimidate us as believers. Our Leader is infinitely greater. Our King can not fail. Our God is all-powerful, and His power is independent of popular opinion.

So why worry?  I happen to recall some moments from history that might provide some comfort in our present situation. I seem to remember a certain Egyptian Pharaoh, who enslaved God's chosen people. He might have been a little worse than Trudeau. The Israelites might have had more of a reason to complain, as they were whipped and starved and beaten daily.

And yet, God worked amidst the horrors and sorrow. He displayed His power and might for both His people and the Egyptians. His might triumphed over human plans.

There was a certain Roman Emperor... again, not the nicest guy. In fact, the Christians of His day were often bound together, tied to stakes, and lit on fire to illuminate the palace gardens, or placed in an arena with lions for pure entertainment. And yet, concerning Nero, God's apostle Paul wrote this to the persecuted church:

1 Timothy 2:1-5~

I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people.

Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them. 

Pray this way for kings and all who are in authority so that we can live peaceful

and quiet lives marked by godliness and dignity. This is good and pleases God our Saviour,

who wants everyone to be saved and to understand the truth.

For there is only one God and one Mediator who can reconcile God to humanity-

the man Christ Jesus.

If praying for Nero and the Roman Empire in those times was pleasing to God, I can't imagine how angry, harsh, unwholesome talk of Justin Trudeau is pleasing to God. It amazes me how there is hardly a difference between the Christians and the non-believers in the way they talk about our political leaders. Although there are many jokes and chuckles, there is an unsettling amount of violent negativity and hopelessness.

As believers, there is never a cause for hopelessness among us. Nobody but God alone has the power to destroy our souls.

I believe that there will be much worse things within our lifetimes. Danger and hardship is surely up the road, perhaps in different forms for all of us. But if we can't follow Jesus while our country is rich and prosperous and we have the privilege of voting, then how can we follow Him when times truly become difficult?

In the words of Catherine Booth:

"The waters are rising, but so am I. I am not going under, but over."

 We have the chance to show integrity, and be a light in this world. The Spiritual welfare of this country is not dependent on those in power. It depends on the willingness of God's disciples to show His love. Unfortunately, most of the things I hear and read from God's disciples are not a representation of Christ's love, but of worry, anger, and hatred.

I often hear people quoting the words of James 1: "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." And then I often see those same people turning around and letting less-than-joyful words fly against our government.

Here's our chance to stand strong amidst a bit of a trial. Though it may be less than desirable, that's exactly what Jesus promised the life of a Christian would be. Hard. So let's consider it pure joy. Let's keep a stiff upper lip and continue the work of God despite any opposition. We have nothing to fear, nothing that can stand in the way of Christ's work, except for ourselves.

Remember the work that God has done in you. God has a habit of bringing the best out of the worst situations. He's rather well-known for turning disaster upside-down and transforming it into something wonderful. Have we forgotten so quickly who He is?!

Let's give up the way of complaining, and adopt the way of rejoicing. Christ has given us the opportunity to follow Him even in the dark times. Now is where it matters, so don't give up before we even get started.

James 1:12 ~

Blessed is the one who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has

stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those

who love Him.

In the face of adversity, let's prove where our loyalty lies.

Williams, Duggar, and You

You have a sphere of influence.

It might hold ten people. It might hold a thousand. You'll never totally know.

But you can be sure of this: As surely as you look up to certain people, there are others looking up to you. It doesn't matter what you think of yourself. There is somebody who aspires to be like you, in some aspect.

I know because there are people I hold as role models, who think nothing of themselves. They think they are insignificant and meaningless, unimportant and background characters. They probably don't realize that I look up to them in many ways, as I'm sure others do, as well.

There are people watching you. Every decision you make, they're watching. Every choice you make, they're watching your results. And most of the time, these people don't even realize they are holding you up on a pedestal in their lives. I know I don't often realize it. I look up to people and subconsciously aspire to become more like them.

Then they mess up. Big time.

And then people who didn't know they looked up to that person... they suddenly feel lost. I know I do. I suddenly am confused. Where do I stand? If they could botch things up like that... what about me? Things get rough. It's easy to get scared. Depressed. Anxious. Unsure. Lazy. Defeated. Because of someone else.

Robin Williams was put on a pedestal by many people. He motivated people. He inspired people. He was a spokesperson against depression, hoping to lift people's spirits. He was known for his cheerfulness and strong willpower.

Then he hung himself.

The Duggar family, famous because of the TV Series, 19 Kids and Counting, were highly respected and looked up to by many families around the world. Their integrity and focus on obedience was admired by thousands.

Then the sexually immoral actions of Josh Duggar were dug up from years of hiding. His numerous charges of sexual abuse were brought to light, and many families' hopes in the Duggar family were shattered. If a family deemed so proper and so perfect could be concealing such a dark secret, is there any good and pure family to look up to?

Even if we say we have put our faith completely in God, I'd venture to say that every person has somebody, either past or present, that they hold in a different light. A hero. A role model. You have one, and you are one.

The people who want to be like you could be anywhere. You don't always know who they are. It's a reality that we all must grab hold of, especially as followers in Christ. The world is watching us, and examining the coherence of our actions with our words. What we profess causes people to see us a little bit differently, and that should make us uncomfortable.

We have the power, through our good and bad decisions, to make or break some anonymous person's heart. Only Jesus has the power to save a soul, but we have the responsibility to make Jesus attractive to the unsaved, through the way we live.

Matthew 5:16~

In the same way, let your light shine before others,

so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father,

who is in heaven.

So basically, don't mess up.

But when you do, admit it. God has forgiven you to infinity and beyond, but that does not mean that people have. When we break trust, we are cut off from that person. What we can do to repair the damage is be vulnerable. Be humble. Be honest. It's horribly embarrassing, it's horribly demeaning, but it's incredibly important. For people who watch us to see if our way of life is worth trying... if they see us screw up and brush it off, it does nothing for either them or us. It could turn them away from the Gospel, and it can harden our hearts. People are watching us, scrutinizing and inspecting, whether they know it or not. But we are only human, and we are bound to miss the mark, for sure. But vulnerability and humility are the keys that can save our relationships with those in our sphere of influence. To ask for forgiveness is to possibly get a second chance at presenting Jesus Christ accurately.

We need to be constantly aware. The words that slip out that you think nobody heard... you don't know that. The glances you give the people you dislike... others can see those. The respect you give your authorities... others are surely paying attention. The risks you take, the pressures you withstand, these are the things that are entering the minds of believers and non-believers, alike. People are taking all this information, and will make a decision whether or not they wish to apply it to their lives.

We're missionaries. Every second of every day. To a crowd of anonymous people, you are painting a picture in their mind of who Jesus is and what He is like. Let's live a life worthy of holding that paintbrush. Because we are holding it. Whether we want to, or not.

Ephesians 5:1-2~

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.

And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant

offering and sacrifice to God.

20/20 Vision

Who's your closest friend? Who's the person who hears about every aspect of your life, as soon as you hear about it? Who knows you the best?

My best friend has been listening to my rants for the past 6 years. I tell her everything. Things that make me happy, I tell her first. Things that make me sad, I tell her first. Things that make me wanna punch something until my knuckles bleed, she is the first to know. If anybody knows me, it's her. She knows how flawed I am, and listens to my struggles and pains. I complain about everything to her, I laugh about everything with her, and I listen to her thoughts as well. 

Well, this year we're in grade 12. I'm in dorms, a province away from the rest of my family. My schedule is busier than it's ever been before, and the pressure of school is intense, as you may imagine. Not too long ago, I was lying in bed and contemplating how hectic life had become. I was thinking to myself how massive the switch was. I was thinking about how hard it was going to be. I was looking ahead at this year in anticipation... but also in fear. With trips to BC, Colombia, Ireland, Scotland, and England, working 5-6 days a week, and with diplomas coming up, I suddenly felt hugely overwhelmed. 

So as I lay there at 1:00 in the morning, I began to imagine myself talking to my best friend. I didn't want to wake her up, so I just talked to her in my head. I could imagine what she would say, how she would empathize, and how she would understand the stress of my life at least a little bit. 

As I thought through the things I wanted to tell her, I grew angrier and angrier. I got more and more worried. I remembered more and more stresses in my life that I hadn't thought about before. I felt so anxious as I continued to tell her all my problems and all the hardships in my life. 

I opened my eyes. The clock read 2:30 am. I was sweating. I sat up, rubbing my pounding forehead. I needed sleep. I needed to rest. I needed to calm down. With a billion and one things racing through my mind and troubling my thoughts, I needed to figure out how to clear my head.

Then it hit me. Why wasn't I talking to God?

I had spent so long tossing and turning, sweating and sighing, talking in my head to my imaginary best friend... without whispering a single word to my Heavenly Father.

So, tired and frustrated and worried as I was, I lay down again, and began to talk with God. I started unraveling the blanket of anxiety that I had woven for myself in recent weeks. I talked and talked, and laid all my sky-high problems before His feet. 

.... And by the time I had finished ranting, I took a look at all my sky-high problems... and they were gone. I looked around, but they were no longer towering over me. So I looked down. And sure enough, there they were. Demolished. Ankle-high piles of dust. They had gone from giant and frightening, to sand that blew away in the wind.

I tried to think through them again. I thought through all my struggles, all my concerns, all my angers, all my problems, and tried for a moment to build them back into the monster they had become... but my Father didn't let me. 

He totally rewired my brain.

When I brought my troubles to life in my mind, and thought through them from my own human perspective, they were crazy. Huge. Intimidating. Powerful. Crushing. Overwhelming. But when I started telling God my problems... they began to shrink. I began to see them as they really were: small. 

My giant problems were exposed as insignificant in the light of His holiness and grace.

It was like all of my greatest anxieties suddenly were lost in the shadow of the cross. God reminded me of who He was. He reminded me of what He did. He reminded me of the hostility that His Son endured for my sake. He reminded me of every blessing that I never deserved. He reminded me of all He had done, and all He had yet to do. He reminded me of the frailty of my life, and the fullness of His.

He crushed the distorted lens that the world had given me to look through, and replaced them with a crystal-clear lens crafted in Heaven. He gave me a dose of reality. And I started to understand.

There isn't a person on earth who is problem-free. We are all sick and broken. But even the wealthiest, most prosperous person could view his problems as more overpowering than the poorest, loneliest person. In the Kingdom of God, the number of our problems is inconsequential. The size of our problems is of no matter. Because no matter what we are going through, when we go through it with Him, we cannot lose.

Looking at our life through God's flawless lens requires discipline and focus. It's hard, and it's tempting to give in to our weaknesses. But living life from God's perspective is immeasurably more rewarding.

Hebrews 12:10~

For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God's discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening- it's painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.

I don't believe God wants to dismiss our struggles and ignore our cries. Not at all. But I do believe that He wants to take us deeper into His mercy, and deeper into His heart. He does not want our troubles to tower over us, He wants us to tower over them. He wants to reverse our thoughts and teach us to praise Him in the storm, and in the calm. 

If we keep our eyes on the cross, remembering what our God did for us there, I believe that every single one of our problems will shift before our very eyes. We will see them not as hindrances, but instead as opportunities to reflect our Saviour. We will see them as an honour to endure, out of gratitude to the One who endured the utmost of suffering for us. 

We deserve every calamity and every hardship, but Jesus intercedes on our behalf out of His infinite mercy and love. So when times do get tough, let's look at them as opportunities to grow. Let's look for every chance to follow Jesus, even unto death. He is perfecting us. We are refined through the fire. It's not easy, but it is 100% worth it.

Hebrews 11:35-40~

But other [people of faith] were tortured, refusing to turn from God in order to be set free. They placed their hope in a better life after the resurrection. Some were jeered at, and their backs were cut open with whips. Others were chained in prisons. Some died by stoning, some were sawed in half, and others were killed with the sword. Some went about wearing skins of sheep and goats, destitute and oppressed and mistreated. They were too good for this world, wandering over deserts and mountains, hiding in caves and holes in the ground.

How comforting. It's not the rich and comfortable ones, but the tortured and martyred people that are too good for this world. There is no reason to complain when we examine our problems from Jesus' perspective. He gives us 20/20 vision as we , and there is no room left for whining. But there is always a reason to thank God. Every moment is the perfect moment to praise His Name.

Christ set the example to follow. He showed us what humility and endurance look like. We call ourselves Christians... let's validate that title.

Karistianity

You have a brain tumour.

You plan on having it surgically removed.

You can choose your surgeon.

Candidate #1 is the brain surgeon, a man with the highest level of education, a list of 1000 successful surgeries that he has performed, and a record of zero unsuccessful ones.

Candidate #2 is the janitor, who has never attempted surgery, is not trained, and has never performed any medical operation successfully.

Defying all logic, reason, and wisdom, you choose the janitor. I choose the janitor. We all choose the janitor, and we continue to choose the janitor, despite the number of times they fail. Why?

Because we are the janitor.

You and I, we have a long list of failures. We have a long list of flaws. We have a small amount of wisdom and a large portion of foolishness. We have limited knowledge, and cannot see past our own situations. We're impatient, brash, impulsive, reckless, ignorant, lazy, and fatally flawed.

And yet we see ourselves as more qualified than God, himself.

We grab hold of our problems, and don't allow God to come near them. We say, "Stay back, God. I'll handle this one." And time and time again, we fail to 'handle' it.

Why are we so distrustful of the One who has never failed? Why do we feel the need to put our own, incapable selves, in charge of our struggles?

The eleventh chapter of Hebrews is often referred to as the "Hall of Faith." It lists characters from the Old Testament who surrendered their problems to God, and trusted that He knew what He was doing. These examples demonstrate the Truth: Problems handled by people = bigger problems. Problems handled by God = Solved.

I think the reason we so often try to take control of our problems is because we fear the unknown. We want to know what's going on. We dislike the idea of blind faith, so we follow our own volition and ideas. We ignore our commitment to Christ, in favour of a new commitment to ourselves. Spoiler Alert: It doesn't work.

Sometimes, when we give our troubles over to God, things get weird. Things take crazy turns, and we feel like control has been lost altogether. We get worried, because we think things are not going to plan.

But we're wrong.

Things aren't going according to our plan. And that is a step in a very good direction. If things go according to the plans of fallen, sinful, naive human beings, it's not a good sign.

But just look at the times in the Bible when God was given control of the situation, and things looked insane. Walk around a wall for 7 days? What even?! Sacrifice my only son on an altar? Alrighty then.... Build a boat on dry ground, when it's never even rained before? Go back to Egypt where I am wanted dead? Lord, you're loco. How about watching Jesus hang from a cross and die, the One whom God promised to be the Saviour?!

Yeah, things didn't go along with the plans of those humans. Good thing. We are narrow-minded, shallow people. It's why when we see God working in His mysterious ways, we cannot comprehend how He will ever bring it about to completion.

But then He does. He brings it all together in the most miraculous way. He is all powerful, and all good. So when He is given all the control, be prepared for some good and powerful results. The walls collapsed. Isaac was saved, and Abraham was blessed. The Israelites went free. Jesus rose from the dead.

If you are struggling, if you are afraid, and if you're trying to control your situation, I dare you to read all of Hebrews 11. Every time I read it I can almost hear God telling me, "See? Look how I proved my love in that situation? Looked what I did for them! Look how I showed my grace. Look how I showed my power. You sure you still want to handle this on your own?!" You're in for a convicting amount of evidence supporting God's capability to handle your problem. He is 100% worthy of your trust. To summarize the chapter:

Hebrews 11:32-35 ~

How much more do I need to say?

It would take too long to recount the stories of the faith of 

Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel, and all the prophets.

By faith these people overthrew kingdoms, ruled with justice, and received 

what God had promised them. They shut the mouths of lions, quenched the flames 

of fire, and escaped death by the edge of the sword. Their weakness was turned into 

strength. They became strong in battle and put whole armies to flight.

Women received their loved ones back from death.

Keep in mind that when you give God the reins, He will bring about His perfect results, which may not be the results that you wanted. But also keep in mind that He knows better, sees all, understands all, knows the future, and cannot make a mistake. We must learn to be content with the fulfillment of His Will, not our own.

Psalm 9:10 ~

Those who know your name will trust in you, 

for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.

We all have problems. You have problems. I have problems. And this time, I'm going to try to stop choosing the janitor. I'm firing her. I'm abandoning my faith in myself, in favour of faith in the One who deserves all of my confidence. Christianity is meant to be a contract, one that is especially honoured when it's most difficult to honour it.

It is for this reason that I am declaring that I'm no longer a believer in Karistianity.

Christ, it's back to you. Take control.

Ready For Impact

So... I blinked. And here I am. Writing from my dorm room. I blinked, and my family moved away. I blinked, and our house was empty. I blinked, and senior year is now here. I blinked, and I'm on my own.

Days are going by too fast for me to notice. But in this whirlwind that life has turned into, my prayer have been short and constant throughout each and every day. Usually, I breathe them as I'm running around in a daze, or as I drift off to sleep. But for the past few weeks, my prayer has been the same few words, repeated over. And over. And over. It goes something like this: "God, make me an impact. Make me an impact. Make me an impact." "God, help me change someone. Help me make a difference. Make me an impact."

I've been whispering it so much. It's what I want more than anything. I've been noticing the same desire in the people around me, as well. In school, I hear people who are running for student council saying, "I want to change things." "I want to make things different."

I'm starting to get the idea that this is a common wish. In some way or another, we all want to do something big. I know I've prayed for the chance to make a difference in someone's life on many different occasions, and the hunger for change has often brought me to tears. Opportunities arise, and opportunities disappear. But we keep praying that we will be the difference maker. We keep hoping that we will change someone. We keep imagining that our home, school, workplace, town, and world will somehow be changed because of us.

We're completely full of it.

1 John 2:6 ~

Those who say they live in God

should live their lives as Jesus did.

The world is chock full of people whose hearts need to change. Every where you turn, you'll see people whose lives definitely need a rerouting. Everywhere you look, people need to start living in the light. Even when you look in the mirror.

That's right. This world is full of people who a.) want to change those around them, and b.) people who don't want to change themselves. Doing quick mental math, we see that this doesn't exactly work. If our world is full of people who focus on changing the people around them but aren't willing to examine their own lives... our world isn't going to even budge.

Ask God to mold your heart. Deal with your life before everyone else's.  Like the simple command in 1 John said, those of us who say we abide in Christ, should be living like Him. How did He live? In perfect love.

1 John 1:5-7 ~

This is the message we heard from Jesus and now declare to you:

God is light, and there is no darkness in him at all. So we are lying if we say

we have fellowship with God but go on living in spiritual darkness;

 we are no practicing the truth. But if we are living in the light,

as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each

other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, 

cleanses us from all sin.

He was and is the light of the world. It doesn't make sense for us to want to change people in the name of Christ, but live our own lives in darkness. You see, those who Christ is calling to Himself will be drawn to His light. Whether or not they have access to His light through you, well, that's your decision.

We are not the ones who change hearts. We are not the ones who change minds. We are not the ones who stir souls. We are simply the lenses that Jesus can use to shine His perfect light through. The lenses who are clean, shiny, and perfectly clear are the people who will see progress. And it's not because of what they have done, it's because of what they've allowed Christ to do in themselves.

So don't worry about impacting others. Don't focus on being the one who changes their lives. God wants to use us, but we must be clean. We must be able to clearly reflect His light. Let God impact you, first. Live like Jesus did. And keep in mind how many people He changed, just by loving. And if our heart's deepest cry is to humble ourselves and allow God to form and shape us, then I believe we'd better be bracing ourself for His impact.

My prayer is changing this night. I'm going to continue to repeat the words over and over, but with a slight variation:

"God, impact me. Impact me. Impact me."